King Peter- In Memoriam

 Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Peters death.  I've struggled this week. It seems the closer to October 1st it got, the more emotional I was. Every little thing set me off. TV shows, songs, commercials. Anything. This morning it was hard to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay with the sheets over my head and eat a gallon of ice cream and cry.

Hard to believe this sweet boy has been gone for a year.  

1 year ago I woke up to what was  the worst day of my life, and one of my absolute worst nightmares. I guess he had done so well for so long, I thought it would just continue on forever like that.  We knew we heeded another heart, but never in my wildest dreams did I think we would wake up to find him gone. I thought I had more time. We always think we have more time.

I miss his quirky half smile, his odd sense of humor, his random Dr Who or Flash quotes. This kid could watch a movie once and recite lines back to you.  He was obsessed with Avengers and Marvel and DC and Dr Who. He loved to listen to music. He seemed to get along better with adults than he did with kids his own age.  He was always an old soul, even when he was little. He loved talking to people and joking around . He loved his brother (he wouldnt admit it out loud to us,  but he would tell other people).

 He loved food more than anything.  This kid had champagne tastes from day 1.  I could put anything in front of him and he would eat it and then say "mmm, you can make that again".  One time we were out to eat, he was probably 7 or 8. We were at a steak restaurant and the waiter told us the specials, one of which was a cedar plank grilled salmon fillet with blah blah blah. Finn got Mac and Cheese and Charles and I both got steak and when we got to Peter, instead of ordering off the kids menu like he had been instructed he casually said "uhhh, I will have the salmon please".  (for 24.95!!!!).  I said NO YOU WONT!!  He would not be moved.  So guess who had salmon that night? He was always one to add onions to everything. He loved banana peppers and jalapenos, and salsa and spicy food. He could eat sushi like there was no tomorrow. This kid packed it away and when he would get full he would burp and say "oh I just reset my stomach" and continue to eat more.  He had a hollow leg that he put everything away in because there was not an ounce of fat on that body anywhere. He could tear up a cheesesteak from Penn Station!  And dont put ice in his drink, he hated it.  He never drank pop, only lemonade and fruit punch and water (no ice!).

I spent 19 years taking care of him, keeping him alive, dr appointments, surgeries, medications, disability hearings and claims and all the other stuff.  When he died that was all taken away and I had almost an identity crisis.  I had been a caretaker for so long that it was foreign to me that it was no longer an option. 

It has been weird not having him around to constantly argue with Finn.

I was going through a scrapbook my friend made, and there were all these notecards that people had written their memories of Peter on, and to see just how loved he was really touched my heart. His kindness, his wise beyond years attitude and actions.  He truly touched everyone around him that he ever met. There was something excessively special about Peter and I am just so grateful that I got to be his mom and be part of his lasting legacy.

I miss him more than words can say, it is a gaping hole left by his departure.  

I am sure that as I write a memoriam next October 1 that it will perhaps have gotten a little easier. I doubt it, but one can hope, right?

I miss you Peter more than I can ever say. I love you beyond compare and know that one day we shall meet again. ♥

pictures from Virginia Beach

THE tent. UGH.(shaking fist and muttering bad things under my breath)

It was a giant two room tent that was about 50 years old. It was a great tent...until it rained.

DO they even MAKE tents like this anymore?

Look at that awesome climbing tree though. Finn had a field day on that baby!

The actual beach around 34th street. This is right around where I got pulled over for a ticket. Thanks officer.

(it went from 50 mph to 25. Apparently I didnt slam on my brakes to 25 as soon as I passed the sign. I was in the process of decelerating when she pulled me over. $182 later...)

My nephew, Cade, buried up to his neck in sand. He is the cutest thing. He is 2 and he is so tiny. He reminds me of one of those Baby Gap mannequins you see in the windows. I just want to snatch him up and eat him!! He has a new baby brother who is just adorable.

Here is Finn "surfing". He is a little fish. He LOVES the water. No fear of the waves, no fear of going under. He is really a water bug.

Peter is not quite the water afficianado as his brother Finn. He will go in and enjoy as long as there is someone to help him. He isnt as strong as Finn and his weak left side gives him a hard time in the undertoe and and waves. But he did a good job trying his best this year. He is getting braver!

If you can't tell, Finn was NOT happy with me. He got too far away and wasnt listening. So I told him he was out of the water for 15 minutes. So he was mad at having to play in the "stupid boring sand" He practiced that face in the mirror before leaving home, so he has it down pat.

I cant tell you how many of THESE pictures we have. "The Squints" I didnt follow the photography rule and take pictures in the golden hours.(we werent at the beach right after sunrise or right before sunset)

Is that for real?

i have had people ask me on a daily basis if the things I write REALLY happened to me, or if I was making it up. Yes, it is for real, it really happened and I dont make anything up. I may embellish a tad for literary license, but honestly I am the unluckiest person I know. i am like Bella from Twilight(Stephenie Meyer) that Accidents and bad luck are attracted to me like a magnet. But on the flip side, I tend to be the one that all the funny things happen to.

My Friend Lindsey and i used to write funny short stories, usually based on our lives(but of course the heroines were usually beautiful and smart and witty...kind of the antithesis of what we thought we were)
If they were about us I was always the one falling off a boat, snorting water through my nose, landing face first in a mud puddle, dating the guy who years later admits to being gay. I was always the one with the 14 last names from being unlucky in love and marriage.(although in these stories I had a great rack and long flowing locks of curling auburn hair). Generally i was Wealthy(due to divorce settlements, alimony and a lawsuit or two involving faulty products gone haywire). But all in all I was miserable and handt found "the meaning of love" blah blah blah. You know how 16 year olds can be so melodramatic.

She was always the one living in the mountains with a husband named "Jack" or "Luke" or something manly. she was usually successful(either an author to rival the likes of Danielle Steele, a musician/singer/songwriter with more #1's and grammys under her belt than mariah carey and Whitney Houston Combined. She was usually a green eyed beauty straight out of a Judith MacNaught Novel. Generally the ending was thus: she would pick me up, dust me off, give me advice and I would be on my way.(in love with her personal trainer or pilot or something like that. ) Finally finding TRUE love and FINALLY knowing the meaning of life. Lindsey and her husband would be staring off into the sunset and her husband would ask something like "Is she going to be alright?" and lindsey would usually answer with 'You know what? I think she will. i think she Finally found what she was looking for"

But in a way our stories WERE a little bit like us. I fell in and out of love so easily as a teenager(those hormones! those cute boys!). She was always the more level headed one with sage wisdom, the adventurous and outdoorsy one, whereas I was the more passionate, "jump-in-both-feet-first-without-looking" wild child.

But all in all the stories I write are true. I really do have a crazy life and have had a lot of crazy things happen to me. i have an inordinate amount of bad luck and uncanny ability to have things go wrong at the worst possible moment.
My friend Dana always told me "It could only happen to you. Only you, Sarah."
She is right.

Maybe I will get lucky and have some publisher stumble across my blog and offer me a book deal. The name of my book will be "The night I made charles wear Tampons in his ears at a Journey Concert"(I'll tell that one down the road. True Story)

Charles said i should title the book " Sarah is one lucky girl because Charles is so good looking."

The Greatest Place in the World

I have a favorite place.

When I am feeling down and blue, I think of this place. I have been coming here since I was a child. Our first trip was in 1979.

Every summer for 10 days to 2 weeks we would come here.

It wasnt anywhere fancy or tropical, it wasnt a high falutin' resort area.

It was Nags Head North Carolina on the Outer Banks of NC.

I have had the opportunity to travel to many many places both in the US and Abroad, and when someone asks me "Where is your favorite place you have ever traveled to?", my answer is always Nags Head.

Every summer my family would pack into 1 car complete with our summer gear, fishing tackle and poles, rafts, boogie boards etc. When my brothers were old enough to drive we would take 2 cars and caravan. They would be in my moms old Volkswagon Rabbit and I would be stuck in the other car with my folks. After all 15, 16 and 17 year old boys didnt want to be bothered with their much younger sister.

Every summer I would play hard, swim in the ocean, build sandcastles, torture jellyfish, get burned to a crisp, eat crabs and clams and all sorts of seafood, and buy a pursefull of crappy souveniers from the Souvenir shop across the road.

Every year I looked forward to MY place. And every year it never failed to deliver.

My husband and I went there for our honeymoon almost 11 years ago. We stayed in my parents beachhouse and spent days and nights at the beach, touring the lighthouses, fishing, walking in the sand, looking for shells, crabs, starfish and more. We went to the Sand Dune and watched the sunsets, ate fudge and played mini golf. We toured Elizabethan Gardens and the Aquarium. It was a magical time and the perfect place for our newlywed bliss.

Every year we go back for a few days, sometimes a week. We never get tired of it. Nags Head is OUR place, our special family time. The kids love it. We take friends and family, we invite people to share in our love of the Outer Banks.

The Beaches never seem crowded, the weather always seems nice and the sky is always that Carolina Blue you hear about.

I love Nags Head and the outer Banks. I cant image the world without it. In the almost 30 years I have been going to Nags Head, i STILL get the excitement butterflies as we pack up and head out. Oh Nags Head, I love you.