My weight Loss so far...a pictorial

Over the past 2 1/2 years I have seriously yo yo dieted. I went up and down. I was at my heaviest (ugh) and now I am at the lightest I have been in 15 years. I still have 20 pounds to go, but I am just so happy and proud of how far I have come.
As I was putting together this photo journey, I realized I don't have a lot of photos of myself.  I HATED having my picture taken. I knew I was fat and I thought if I didn't have the photo evidence, then it wasn't true.
So let us begin:

his was my heaviest: July 2011.  I was out in Spokane Washington visiting my friend.  She is so tall and svelte and gorgeous, and I am dumpy and fat with a huge fat face.  HATE this picture, which is a shame because we had such a great time together. I was a Size 22 pants and a 3x top. Fat and round.

Christmas 2011.  Co worker and I at our holiday party.  I had lost a little weight., maybe 10 pounds...then went and got the WORST haircut I have had in a very long time. That's the LAST time i agree to be a hair model.  So, That didn't help. At all.

August 2012.  Chk and I in Orlando for our nieces wedding. At the rehearsal dinner.

I thought I looked pretty good(The mirror can be deceiving) . I hadn't really gained a lot of weight back, and was kind of holding steady at a size 20 pants and 3x top.  Then I saw the pictures and was truly horrified.

Halloween 2012 at work with my two skinny co workers. Had lost a few pounds again, but still the fat one of the group, always.  Hadn't lost any size in clothing.

March 2013 with my boys. Hadn't gained or lost anything really. Still the same lump.

July 22, 2013.  We were in Capitol Reef National Park in Utah.  At this point I had lost like 12 pounds. I 

had just started my diet a few weeks previous.  I was thrilled with the jump-start and wasn't going to let it go. I was going to keep it going.

Beginning of October 2013. i had lost about 28 pounds at this point. starting to look and feel a lot better. 

Mid October. About 32 pounds gone. Posing with Spock. 

I am starting to not mind my picture being taken. I find I don't have to selectively edit anymore, or be the one in the back so everyone can camouflage my bulk.

The week following this picture, I joined the weight loss clinic and started really taking control.  I went on their recommended diet, I started logging everything on myfitnesspal, and I really started making myself accountable for my weight and weight loss. No more excuses.

Me and my boys on Halloween 2013.  About 40-ish pounds gone.

 People had REALLY started to notice the difference.

FINAL Picture taken December 17th.  

55 pounds GONE FOREVER!!!

Like I said I still have about 20 more pounds to go (I think. We will see. I want to drop 2 more sizes, and I am almost the next size smaller.).

I have dropped lots of sizes, most of my clothing has been donated to Goodwill  and eve my bras, and shoes are too big now!

. 

best part??? My wedding ring fits again. And it fits perfect.  It hasnt fit since 1999, and then it was TIGHT. (Need soap and spit to get it off my finger tight)

I have been seriously motivated. I am so much happier, healthier and feel better about myself.

I have had so many sweet compliments and encouragements. I WANT to keep going. i WANT to be the best I can be, and I am getting there.

So thank you to all who have helped and encouraged me and have stuck by me and made me feel good about myself during this time. I know a huge part of my success is because of the love and support of friends and family and even strangers who drop a note of encouragement in the comments.

THANK YOU for helping me.

I have lost a 5 year old...

BAM! 40 pounds.

42 more to go.

I have lost over 6 points on my BMI !

so happy right now.  i know I STILL have a lot of work to go. It is NOT easy, but I am giving it the old college try. I will never go back. I can only go forward...mostly because I have given away all my clothes that are too big and will have nothing to wear. 

This time it's sticking. For Good. 

Its a struggle...

a few months ago my husband said ;" Get used to the fact you have a beautiful mom, boys".  Finn (10 years old) said "yeah, but all my friends say she's kind of...you know...chubby"  It obviously hurt his feelings when his friend said that, and it embarrassed him. i felt awful for him that MY weight and MY appearance made him feel like that. I know he loves me, but I know he wishes I would take better care of myself.
My 13 year old has kind of hinted at the same thing.


 So a few months back around my birthday I took a good hard look and REALLY made some changes.   It has been amazing. I have had so many positive comments and a fantastic support at work and home and a great cheering section.
In the past 3 months  I have lost 30+ pounds. I feel better, I look WAY better. but I still have a VERY...LONG...WAY...TO...GO!!!!

I have had to buy new pants, and all my tops are getting too big.  Last Sunday I fit into a dress I haven't worn in 11 years. And it was a little loose. I couldn't believe it.

But over the past 2 weeks or so I noticed I was starting to plateau and kind of yo yo, and I was scared about undoing all my hard work. I felt like I was losing motivation, and it was getting harder for my willpower and harder for me to do it on my own. Having a doctor prescribe you something and kind of keep tabs on you is one thing, but going to an actual weight loss clinic where they REALLY keep tabs on you and are with you every step of the way, and are trained in weight loss (rather than just a family Dr.) is completely different.

So yesterday I took the plunge and went to the Weight Loss Clinic down the road.
It is a bi-weekly weigh in, it includes BMI and body fat tracking, vitamins, supplements, weekly injections, food and menu planning/nutritional counseling.
So after talking to my weight loss counselor, I realized I am going about this the wrong way. I did really well to start, but my body is starting to stall and it needs a shake up and re-boot.

 I have decided not to look at actual weight numbers. I want to be a size 12, which is a healthy, realistic goal for me.  So if my blood sugars, blood pressure, and all other things look good and I am a healthy size 12, then so be it...whether its 175 pounds or 200 pounds, I will take it.  I just want to be healthy. I just want to look good.  I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me. I don't want them to feel like their mom is ugly, or fat and they not want me around.


But like I said I had a bit of a yo yo and some plateauing  and i got scared and needed professional intervention! so glad i did. I feel like this will help me get back on track and keep going the direction I know I need to be going.

So starting this morning I am back on track.

• I have my multi vitamin.
•  I have my phentramine. 
•  I have my weekly injections.
•  I have a food plan.
•  I have an exercise plan.  I have to keep track of everything I eat.  I have to eat a crap ton of protein daily, and avoid certain things like dairy, nuts, peanut butter etc. things i thought were good for you.  (well they are, just not right now)

I decided to do the injection of the  MIC amino Acid shots this month.  Next month I may add B12.

i HATE needles. i HATE shots.  HATE HATE HATE.  But I bit the bullet.  I had her do it in the back of my arm.  The needle itself didn't hurt. Didn't feel that one bit.  What i DID feel was the serum being injected, and that stung like a son of a you know what.  But it is a good injection to have, and it helps keep things running smoothly.


It is out there in the universe.If I blog it, I am accountable.
  I can do this. i HAVE to do this. I owe it to my kids. I owe it to myself.

I will also be sending my dear husband that direction as well.  DH is really very handsome, albeit overweight now.   If he were to get back to where he was 12 years ago when we went on vacation to Hawaii..man, look out world.
I feel like we have been married so long (16 years!) that we have both kind of said "screw it, I don't need to look good for anyone else. My hubby/wife  loves me just the way I am".  I am sad it had come to that. I feel like I WANT to keep looking good for him. I WANT him to be proud of me. And I would hope that he would do the same for me.  i WANT him to look good for me. I want him to have me be proud of him. I want to be that couple who does the fun runs together, and has a fun and active lifestyle. I want to have a fulfilling life with him and with our kids.  I don't want to be the fat mom and dad on the couch who has a hard time doing anything. i want to teach my kids the importance of taking care of yourself and exercise and eating healthy.  i want them to know that they are the most important things in my life and  I will do what it takes to be with them as long as possible.  And I know that by being obese and unhealthy I was depriving them of that opportunity and that was really selfish of me.

So begins a new chapter.  The first 30+ was easy.  This last 30 is going to be the challenge.  But i KNOW I can do it. I am ready.

a little less conversation, a little more motivation

So as many of you know I have been trying DESPERATELY to lose weight. Finn is now 7 and I can no longer use the "I had a baby" excuse. 7 years, I mean...come on.
My husband gained sympathy weight through all of my pregnancies, lost a lot and then gained back with a vengeance.
we werent always heavy,. In fact when we got married I was smoking hot and he was super adorable and well proportioned.  we were SO CUTE.

Well flash forward 13 years, 3 babies, stress, eating...more stress and more eating...laziness, no exercise and more eating and here we are.
I have tried everything to get us to lose weight. I cant count how many of my blog posts start with "Ok Im starting fresh, no more messing around".  I am SUCH a loser!! geez.

I was thinking about what got us motivated to lose all the weight the first time around. Back in 2001/2002. I lost 60 pounds. He lost like 40.  he looked really good. I looked pretty good too.
I know what it was. I had something to lose weight for.  HAWAII.

My dads 60th birthday was in 2002 and he told us a few years earlier that for his 60th he was taking all 4 of his kids and their spouses to Kauai, Hawaii for a celebration.  WOO HOO!
At the begining of 2001 I got serious and buckled down.
By the time our trip rolled around I felt pretty good. I didnt feel self conscious about having my picture taken.  Yes I could have lost another 25 pounds, but I felt really good about myself and my progress.

Charles felt like Hawaii was a good reason to lose weight.  Didnt want people to mistake him for a beached whale or something.  We never went out to eat. I cooked every day. Controlled portions, vitamins and lots of water. Oh yeah, and exercise.
Damn.

I have decided that if we can each lose the weight we need to get back to our first Hawaii Trip, then I will take us to Hawaii again.

I think thats pretty good motivation.  Plus next year we are going on a Disney Cruise and I will NOT have another family vacation ruined by terrible pictures of my double chin and huge fat neck. bleck.
as Stupid Tyra Banks says "Dreckitude".
NO MORE DRECK.

Hawaii, here I come.

My diet...for the millionth time.

www.my-calorie-counter.com The webs free Diet Tracker

I have been working hard to lose weight. i finally got serious when I caught glance of myself in a mirror at school and realized just how awful I looked. It doesnt matter how many cute haircuts I get, or the great new color I have, or the nice french tip nails or pedicures, if I look like humpty dumpty I am going to feel bad about myself. If my joey pouch is a dunlap (it's done lapped over my belt) I get mad and then binge eat to hide my depression.

I realize I eat in the following situation:

• anger
• depression
• financial worries
• Peter stress
• school stress
• social setting

So looking at this list it is like 90% of my day.

So I have set a goal and am sticking to it. I am keeping track of what I eat. I am keeping track of exercise.

I have taped up pictures of skinny me to the fridge and cabinets, so when I am tempted to reach for a snack I see them and realize what I am working for.

A huge problem was going out to eat. At school I woulf go out to eat instead of bringing my lunch. It is kind of hard to lose weight eating chinese and chick fil-a and wendys and Bojangles every day.

So I have started bringing my lunch...and only bringing my drivers license with me. No cash, no credit cards. So i cant go out to eat even if I wanted as I have no money with me. I cant even go to the vending machine, which has ZERO healthy options. When I go out to eat with friends I will tell them that I am on a diet and need them to help me find something healthy to eat. I will ask for a box at the start of a meal and immediately put half of it away for leftovers and only eat a healthy portion size.

It has forced me to think about what I should be eating. I have to wake up a little earlier every day to make my lunch. I have to keep the fridge stocked with healthy fruits and vegetables and smart snacks.

I dont have a ton of time to get to the YMCA every day, so once this bronchitis moves out I will be back early mornings. (I jumped on the trampoline yesterday...mistake. I am not quite ready for strenuous lung exercise yet)

So i have a list of activities I can do when I am feeling angry or depressed or sad etc.

I only eat at the kitchen table now, instead of in front of the TV or while at the computer playing games. I am trying to deprogram myself from mindless eating.

I know it is all about moderation and exercise and is a complete lifestyle change. I just need to reach down deep inside and find that motivation. I need to embrace this change completely so I can be the best me ever. so I can look back and think that my 30s were way better than my 20s. That I was happier and healthier and sexier than the old me.

So I am off to look at my gorgeous bathing suit picture from 15 years ago, which has a prominent featured place on the freezer, which is where I keep the ice cream, and find that strength to be the new and improved Sarah.