Why my best friend is my best friend...

Last night I had this idea to post about my friend Lindsey.  She and I have been friends for 20 years. We have known each other for 23, but the first three years we didnt realize what we were missing out on. Finally, in high school, Once we hung out, it was on like Donkey Kong.  My dad calls us "two of the squirreliest girls he has ever met". She and I get each other. We have the same off kilter sense of humor, we can talk for hours and hours and laugh until we puke, we find the same things funny, and most importantly we have crazy hilarious text messages with each other.

Now I love to text, it is my normal form of communication with most people. My texts are usually very simple and straightforward...be home soon. Or Pick up milk...or get gas in the car...or have a good day...or Im running a few minutes late.  You get the drift.

With Lindsey it usually starts with something like "Hey Napoleon, give me your tots". . Here is a rundown of a few of my favorite random textx to each other:
---Miss Dorothy...po hee.
---If I ever get another dog, Im going to name it Stalin Dogkicker Stabyou.(wwtdd.com reference about Beyonce)
---"In chicago...just passed Medieval Times. I wanted to yell out the window 'Uncle Rat, are you there?"
---Busha made me lunch for the flight home. She included fruits and vegetables, haha. I am thinking about not eating them just on principle.

Well the other day on her facebook page, she posted a picture of Prince John from the cartoon Robin Hood and wrote "Taxes, Taxes beautiful lovely Taxes. ah ha. AH hah. forgive me a cruel chuckle..."  Well I had that movie running through my head all day.  so when I got out of work I texted her a random line from the movie. Here is a transcript of our entire text comversation (and this is why we rock)

S(thats me):  Hiss, you Deliberately Dodged.
L:Sire! Dee-dee-dee did you see?!?!  AUGH! Hiss! Stop hissing in my ee-uh!
S: I had a childhood crush on Robin hood...even though he was a cartoon fox.
L: ME TOO!!!!
S:...and THAT is why we are friends
L: And I wanted lady cluck to play badminton with.
S: I have been thinking about that movie all day and laughingto myself
L: heehee, me too. Peter Ustinov was the perfect voice for PJ. And that turtle..."yay dad".  Such an awesome movie
(a few minutes elapse)
S:There is nothing more frustrating than a traffic backup for no apparent cause. It's stop and go and then just opens up...grrrr
L: Like some idiots though "I'll slam on my brakes for the hell of it!"
(a few more minutes elapse)
S: Ive been saying aha aha all day.
S: but like how Prince John said it. Not just aha.
L: I know what you mean. I did that in the van this morning. The children were not as appreciative as they should have been at my acting prowess.
S: WHat do they know anyways. Kids are never as appreciative as we think they should be.
S: I tried to teach my kids about Lambert the Sheepish Lion. They looked at me like I had three heads.
L: LAMBERT! CRIPES! I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT LAMBERT! I must order that book on Amazon immediately.
S: I know, right? Remember the cartoon of it? I did the sheep bleat and everything and they thought I had lost my mind.
L: Hahahahaha! Kids. Dont know nuttin'.

Seriously, who has conversations like this?  We do, thats who. And thats why she will always be my friend.

So Lindsey, this one is for you...laaaaaaaambert the Sheepish Lion.(complete with the voice bleating)

are she and I the only ones who had a crush on Cartoon Robin Hood fox??

Literal Video-Journey Separate ways

I am a HUGE Journey Fan, and this is one of my favorite songs. I found this video first posted on List of the Day.
This video was made to Separate Ways and the lyrics are singing what the video depicts. The very end with Stever Perry singing NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is the best part.
Very Clever. Made me laugh out loud.

Spelling is important

Like the title? When I proofread it it said "spelling is imprortnant"

Oh, irony. You never fail to make me look like a dummy.

This gave me a laugh.

Lindsey sent it to me via email a few weeks back and when i am feeling blue I pull it out and have a good laugh.

what an unfortunate word to misspell.

Laws of the Universe

I received this as an email from Lindsey the other day.
I was reading through and making a mental checklist of each Law that has pertained to me in my life.
nearly all. especially Browns Law about the shoe. Since I am a size 12 and nothing seems to fit, it seemed especially fitting.(har har) My comments are in red.

LAWS
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. (triple check on that one!)

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Also works at the grocery store)

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.(Even if the phone has not rung all day. The second you are in that tub...boom)

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. (this one rears its ugly head nearly twice a week in my life)

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.(I have daily conversations with people who live by this law)

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. (YES YES YES!)

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

I would like to add my own. THE LAW OF THE "FART". Your shoe or chair makes a tooting noise you will not ever be able to replicate said tooting sound to prove you did not pass gas in public.

Merry Christmas-Studio 54 Style

I Like the Night Life, I love to Boogie.

Merry Christmas. Enjoy watching me shake my groove thang...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

They see me rollin...

So we were driving up to the Renaissance festival, and I notice peter in the backseat doing something kind of silly.

I turned around and asked "Peter, what are you doing?"

He looked at me and said(in all seriousness) "Im driving while I shake my boo-tay...DUH"

Ah.

I grab the camera and tell him to do it again. So here he is in his home video debut.

Wipeout

I dont care who you are, this is good Television.

Wipeout is kind of like a rated G version of MXC.

Pay particular attention to the 2nd contestant, Margie.
This is just the first 9 minutes from the very first episode.


I would totally go on wipeout. I know they would end up putting me on their best of/worst of clips moments(I would be the big fat muddy crashing into the big balls and being thrown headfirst into the muddy water.)

Tuesday Nights on ABC. My new favorite "dont have to think" television program.

In Memoriam: Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman died at age 81. He will be greatly missed.

This is one of my favorite Carol Burnett Show sketches. He and Tim Conway played off of each other so well. Tim could get anyone to crack up, especially Harvey. They were such a great team, and I love watching the reruns and seeing him try to keep his composure.

So please enjoy this truly classic moment in Television history.

This is one of my favorite E-mails. I wish I could say it isn't true, but the fact of the matter is I use 1,2,3,5,6 and 9 on a daily basis. At first I was indignant, but the further down I read, the more I knew I was guilty.


1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (see #1)

4. GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

6. THATS OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. WHATEVER Is a women's way of saying SHUT UP!

9. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong"(see #3 for the answer)


Men, you totally understand this e-mail.
women, you will act all huffy and mad, then laugh because you will realize you, too, are a "words women use" sinner.