Tuesday, January 21, 2014

bah humbug

Feeling kind of blue and down in the dumps right now..  I find myself getting frustrated easily with hubby and kids. No particular reason. I feel like that old saying "woke up on the wrong side of the bed".

I dont know what the problem is.

 I went to church on Sunday and I listened. I prayed. I participated. I tried. But I was irrationally angry.  The organist was playing too slowly. Babies were crying. Hubby was late to Sunday School, leaving me to sit by myself for 15 minutes like a loser with no friends. I mean irrational.

I snap at my kids for being kids and doing kid things.

Then a few hours later I am fine.

But at least I am coming to the realization that I have no rhyme or reason. But I can recognize when I am being a jerk and feeling mean and ugly and I can stay away from children whose feelings I may hurt. They dont understand why their mom gets jerky. So the best I can do is shut myself in my room for a bit until I feel better.

It isn't all the time. It is maybe a few times a month. I dont swing back and forth manically, and it isnt a constant presence.

Is it my diet and I am hungry??
Is it my medication that causes me to be grouchy on occasion?
Is it exhaustion?
Is it frustration?

I wish I knew.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Divorcing technology...

I love my phone.  No, I mean it. I LOOOVVVEEEE my phone. I find myself holding it. I dream about it. I text, I facebook, I google, I gps...I have my phone attached at my hip 24/7.

When did this happen??  Several years ago I never would have given it a second thought. I never had a cell phone. I prided myself on that fact. I didnt need to be connected to the outside world all the time, and I was perfectly OK with that choice.

Then it happened.  Hubby started working for Sprint and we got practically free cell phone service.
Something snapped.  I became a phone junkie.

Now I leave for work and if I forget my phone at home I am like an addict going through withdrawal . I get nervous and shaky and paranoid. I NEED MY PHONE!!!

But the other day I was watching a group of middle schoolers and high schoolers get off the afternoon bus in the neighborhood.   They were all head down over their phones texting or on facebook or something.  EVERY...SINGLE...ONE!!!
No one was talking.  No one was playing. No one was joking.  They were all too busy with their noses in their phones to pay attention to where they were even walking.  I thought one pour soul was going to walk smack into the mailbox.

Thats when I realized I have a problem.

Hubby and I go out on a lunch date...phones are out.  I am playing a game.(UGH, Curse you Dots!!)  Or he is on facebook. Or working on a crossword puzzle.  Instead of enjoying our time together we are too busy with technology to pay attention.

I find myself checking facebook on a regular basis...you know because someones status might have changed within the past 30 minutes.  Their food choices, or some stupid foursquare check-in that no one really even gives a shit about (Pardon the language, foursquare is my biggest pet peeve) might have updated.  Or heaven forbid, someone might have posted a stupid music video from 1994 with a caption "remember this??"
Do I REALLY not have enough on my plate?  Is it REALLY important?  Will I die if I dont constantly check my phone?  Can that email wait an hour to reply to?

"Mom can you play a game with me?"
"uhhh let me finish what Im doing on the computer first".

I have had these conversations WAY too many times, and enough is enough.
It is time to get back to my kids, show them THEY are more important that so and so's current boyfriend drama, or so and so's dinner check in, or Mr self Important's latest rant about his politcal views that apparently are better than mine and Im an idiot if I believe so and so  about such and such.
Seriously. It is too much. I find myself thinking about it all day. It is too distracting, and it is keeping me from what is really important.

So this year my big goal is to Divorce technology.
Yes I will have my cell phone with me.  No I will not pull it out during meals or while spending time with my kids.
Yes I will be on the computer, but only 30 minutes in the morning to catch up on emails, facebook,  news and blog posts.

 No more constant checking.  I will spend time with my kids and keep my phone and computer and tablet put away.

This is the year of less noise. Less distraction. Less junk.

Now my 30 minutes are up. Time to spend with my family.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Obligatory New Year Post...Happy 2014

wow, 2014 already.  I cannot even believe it. I am shaking my head, wondering where the year went.
2013...I hardly knew ye.

What a GREAT year I had. Seriously.
I really was careful with my vacation time at work, and was able to have some really great adventures with my family.  

We went to the Ashboro zoo.

Boys and hubby went to the beach in Nags Head

I got to go work at the center in Birmingham Alabama. While I was there I got to go to a Book Signing at Books a Million. It was for the very last Robert Jordan book. It was written by Brandon Sanderson. So I stood in line for 3 hours to meet him and get his signatures in the books.  Also in attendance was Harriet, (who was robert jordans widow...and his editor).  So that was quite an interesting adventure.  I felt like Penny on the big bang theory, being surrounded by a bunch of Leonards and Sheldons and Amy's. I had no idea what they were all talking about.  I was just there as a gift for my husband and picked one up for my brother in law.

Then this summer we went on a truly EPIC vacation.
2 weeks.
2400 miles
4 states. (Utah, Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado)
7 National Parks (capitol Reef UT, Bryce Canyon UT, Grand Canyon AZ ,Petrified forest AZ , Mesa Verde CO, Arches UT and Canyonlands UT)
1 State Park (Dead Horse Point State Park in Moab UT)
4 National Monuments/reserves  (Lake Powell UT/AZ, Walnut Canyon AZ, Four corners and Grand Staircase Escalante)
5National forests (Dixie National Forest, Fishlake National forest, Kaibab NF, Coconino NF, and Uinta NF)
1 Truly spectacular tour of Upper Antelope Canyon in Page AZ
1 car stuck in the sand.(Thanks Lake Powell...)
2 truly awesome mexican restaurants(Gallup NM and Green River UT)
1 truly TERRIBLE "Chinese" dinner (richfield UT)
1 or 2 tourist trap type things, just for fun
3 days with 60+ people for the McBride family reunion-Minute to win it, games, talent show, lots of little babies to snuggle...
1600 Photos on my memory Card
Countless oohs and aahs and ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!
Am I ready to go back. Absolutely.  The desert and Canyons call to my soul.

what else what else???
Oh yeah...

Finn Played Flag Football this year

He was in a play at school (end of 4th grade)

They went swimming...a lot.

Went apple picking:

Participated in the Pinewood Derby:

Got a new cat named Joseph Blue:

Went to the Renaissance festival:

and then did homemade Duck Dynasty Costumes for Halloween.  They were AWESOME (If I do say so myself)

what else??
Oh yeah:

we went to the charlotte Knights baseball game and fireworks skyshow extravaganza

look at these seats!!  Thanks to a super awesome client who got us these tix!!

hmmm, I know there was more.

Oh yeah, I got a new camera. And I LOVE IT! 

It takes pictures like THIS (this is just the normal 200x zoom)

 I know there was more... 
Hubby and I played a lot of Discgolf this year:

I took up drawing. Trying to develop my artistic talent. (Or re-develop)

 How can I forget?? Panthers made it to the playoffs!  Division Champs baby! Im pretty sure it's because of me.

Oh yeah. and I lost 58 pounds this year. 

Dont know how 2014 is going to be able to top this amazing year.
but here's looking ahead to wonderful things!!