Friday, October 30, 2009
I feel like my calander has SOMETHING on it every day, apart from school or clients.
It is finally calming down. I need to learn to schedule things better and not try and take on too much.
I dont know why I feel the need to over-extend myself. i CAN say no, but I dont.
At school our class is coming up with fundraisers. Well next week we are doing Funnel cake Monday. I came up with the idea and pitched it to a few others and they all said "yum", so we will be making and selling funnel cakes to the students and clients, and all the proceeds will benefit the Local Battered Womens shelter. There are like 16 of us in the class...but do I delegate? No. I do not. I take it all on myself, so I know it gets done the way I feel it should be done. I have only delegated responsibilities to 2 other girls, who I trust implicitly, as I feel their standards are up to mine. I feel that if you are going to do it, then it should be done right and if I trust others it wont be done right. Isnt that awful? I just dont trust anyone with this stuff.
Why do I insist on doing this and not ask for help when I really need it? Pride, perhaps. I guess when it turns out a success I want to be able to take a lot of the credit...which is selfish and horrible. (but then again, I AM a Cancer, which makes me endearingly eccentric, yet insecure about how others perceive me. I want them to perceive me as being an organized person, who knows how to put together a hell of a fundraiser and can make a mean funnel cake) . I HATE delegating out to others, but I love helping people out, so they dont have to take so much on themselves. I know, I know a huge contradiction...but again, I am a cancer.
So how can I stop over extending myself? Am I able to say no? Probably not. I dont want people to think I cant handle everything that has come my way. I had a daughter that passed away. I have spent months and months and months in hospitals with Peter. He had a heart transplant and has required so much care. I am in school full time, and a mom full time. For the past 12 years my life has been inside out, upside down and all ways, shapes and colors. Surely I can handle a dozen cupcakes for a bake sale. Surely I can squeeze in one more client for some extra pocket cash. If I can handle all the other crap(errr, blessings? lessons?) that has happened, then I certainly should be able to take Peter to get new braces for his feet, get to the grocery store before we use up the last 1/8" of milk in the carton. I certainly should be able to read my scriptures every day and read 30 minutes with my kids every night. I certainly should get them to the dentist, and fulfill my church callings and exercise. I can make lip balms, homemade salsa, jewelry, scrapbook, make my own christmas cards...right???
But please ignore the pile of neglected laundry...or the kitchen sink full of dishes...or the rug under the kitchen table in sore need of vacuuming.
I guess I need to figure out what is the most important and quit worrying about what other people think. Maybe I have to let other people do a little extra work every now and then. Sometimes I just have to say no.
But can I??
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
The following night I would look through our photos and just be SO disappointed.
my face looked fat. I blinked. His smile was velveeta. he blinked. there was a glare. my slip was showing. my mascara was raccooning under my eyes. Just a host of problems. I had given up hope on taking any good pictures together that I could frame and put on our wall. Our final night we decided to give it one more try. None of the stuffy formal poses. We went for something fun. I think that made all the difference.
I was thrilled when I saw the results. I immediately bought both.
Our room steward made some really great animals for us.
One night we had a comedian as entertainment. He asked how many of us liked the towel animals. We all cheered. he then asked "How many of you have taken pictures of the towel animals?"
again, a bunch of us cheered (including me). He then said "People...they're towels!" I then found out we could purchase a book of towel animal tricks and tips for the low low price of 24.95.
I dont care if they are just towels, I think they are cute. So here is the week of towel animals, the carnival menagerie
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
This was just a cool picture. It is me underwater in Cozumel, but the rest of me is above water.So as the rain started to really pick up and the lightening started to strike all around us we were herded back into the boat and headed back. We had a serious Gilligans Island moment. It was raining so hard and the boat was getting tossed around. It was COLD. I almost wanted to grab Charles cell phone out of our bag and text my mom and dad and say "take care of the boys when we die". But the person driving the boat did a great job of getting us through it.
When we got back to the pier, of course, it stopped raining and the sun started to come out again. We were SOAKING wet. So we went to McDonalds to change and to eat. Let me just say I think they are deep frying their fries in some sort of beef lard. The fries were a nice dark yellowy brown color, just like they used to be here in the states before all the health people went apesh** about our heart and cholesterol and nonsense like that. THEY WERE SO GOOD!!!! I dont know what they are frying them in, but it is a heck of a lot better than what we've now got going on with our french fries here in America.
Yes...we ate at McDonalds. You knew it was bound to happen. Plus the bathrooms were for paying customers only.
After McDonalds we took a cab back to the pier and did a little more shopping, I got an outdoor plaster aztec calander to mount on a tree or wall, or use as a garden stone.
we then got back on the boat,and took nice hot showers to get the chill out of our bones.
I was really disappointed in Cozumel. I think I would have enjoyed it more had our tour been better, had the weather been better etc. Oh well. Cant win em all.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
This is the Mennonite Farm. They are the wealthiest people in All of Belize. They immigrated here in the 1950s and are really prosperous farmers and merchants.Here is a local man showing us what he caught for the day.Here are some other pictures from the river
Only 1% of Lamanai has been excavated. You can see the structures covered by mounds of dirt, knowing something is underneath. But since it hasnt been excavated yet, you can only guess.
Lamanai is smack Dab in the middle of the jungle. and it was HOT and HUMID!!!
We next came to the High Temple. This was AMAZING.
We got to climb to the top, which was a HUGE undertaking. The pyramid went straight up. The steps were tall and narrow and all we had to hold on to was a yellow nylon rope.
Here are a few different views from where I was climbing.
i DID make it to the top. I am right in the middle, kind of beind some people in the purple shirt.
The view from the top of the high temple was spectacular. You could see over the entire jungle canopy.
And let me say the trip DOWN was A LOT harder than the trip UP! When I got to the bottom again my legs were JELLO. It was the hardest(apart from childbirth) yet most exhilarating and exciting thing I think I have done in a long, long time.
we then continued on. Here is the Ball Court . I dont know what kind of ball they played.We then moved on to the Jaguar Temple. Here is a retaining wall on the edge of the plaza. The Jaguar Temple was huge. And there was a large plaza type square, where the people would congregate. the high priest would climb to the top of the temple, wearing a 5 ft tall headdress and speak.The Maya were pretty tall, so it must have been an impressive sight back in the day. The acoustics were amazing. You could hear someone from the top of the pyramid down at the bottom.
Here are the Jaguars...hence the name, Jaguar Temple
After the ruins we went back up the river and ate a traditional Belizean lunch. Stewed chicken, rice and black beans with a habanero salsa, papaya and watermelon and fried plantains. It was the best meal I had the entire week.