Tuesday, January 21, 2014

bah humbug

Feeling kind of blue and down in the dumps right now..  I find myself getting frustrated easily with hubby and kids. No particular reason. I feel like that old saying "woke up on the wrong side of the bed".

I dont know what the problem is.

 I went to church on Sunday and I listened. I prayed. I participated. I tried. But I was irrationally angry.  The organist was playing too slowly. Babies were crying. Hubby was late to Sunday School, leaving me to sit by myself for 15 minutes like a loser with no friends. I mean irrational.

I snap at my kids for being kids and doing kid things.

Then a few hours later I am fine.

But at least I am coming to the realization that I have no rhyme or reason. But I can recognize when I am being a jerk and feeling mean and ugly and I can stay away from children whose feelings I may hurt. They dont understand why their mom gets jerky. So the best I can do is shut myself in my room for a bit until I feel better.

It isn't all the time. It is maybe a few times a month. I dont swing back and forth manically, and it isnt a constant presence.

Is it my diet and I am hungry??
Is it my medication that causes me to be grouchy on occasion?
Is it exhaustion?
Is it frustration?

I wish I knew.

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