2017

2017....I welcome you with open arms.

2016 was ROUGH.  I lost my dad. I lose my grandmother.
  I lost David Bowie and Prince and Alan Rickman and Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds and George Michael, and Prince, and, and ,and, and...  like seriously 2016, WTF?

I was forced to choose between Dumb and Dumber in the presidential elections.

I spent the last 4 months of 2015 and first 2 months of 2016 helping care for my dad, who was bed-ridden and dying. I suffered major depression and heartache. I gained back a large chunk of weight I had lost because I basically just didnt give a s*** anymore. My dad was my biggest champion and supporter, he told one of his best friends that having a daughter was one of the greatest blessings of his life and he was so proud of me.  I felt emotionally drained.
  I recently had a dream that I opened my front door and he was standing outside, down the walking path. I ran to him and we hugged and I cried and cried and cried and told him how much I missed him.  He told me he loved me and that he was proud of me and that he was ok and not to worry anymore.    I woke up in tears, yet strangely calm. I believe my dad visited me because I truly needed it.  I believe in the ministering of angels and my dad was one.

We didnt have a vacation last year.  Charles and I spent 1 1/2 days in Charleston SC for a mini getaway,.  It was fun, but not nearly long enough to recharge the batteries. I was physically drained.

I was called as 1st counselor in Relief Society at church.  This is a calling that has really stretched me and forced me to be more spiritually in tune.  I never realized how much of a load the presidency carries. I have realized that there is a heavy burden placed on the shoulders. You learn things about people and you really struggle with them and pray with them and for them and want to do all you can to help these women that you have grown to love and sometimes it is hard to turn that off.
You want to help them, and it hurts when you sometimes see them making bad choices and doing things that dont help their situations.  Some days I felt spiritually drained.

SO triple threat. Emotional,. Spiritual/Mental. Physical.

I have decided that first things first, I have to take care of Sarah.  Dentist, Pap Smear, Mammogram.
Eat healthier, exercise more.  I cant take care of others if I first dont take care of myself.  That is SUCH a hard lesson to learn, isnt it?

I have to respond to spiritual promptings immediately. I cant let it get away from me. I cant say "Oh later". I have to be better about listening and following those feelings and inspiration and thoughts.
I have to put myself in a more spiritual healthy environment.  I need to be better at reading scriptures. I need to be better at journaling. I need to be better at saying my personal daily prayers.  I need to be more spiritually prepared to combat the fiery darts of the adversary who tells me on a daily basis that I am worthless and that I cant do anything right. He tells me I am not good enough.  He tells me I am fat and lazy and so and so is a much better person than I am.  I have to do a better job at remembering who I am and remembering that I am the daughter of a king and I need to straighten my crown and  say Get Thee Behind Me Satan!
I need to go to the temple more often.

I need to work harder at being a better mother. I need more patience and kindness towards my children. Teenage boys are tough, and so is being the mother or teenage boys.
I need to do a better job of preparing them for the real world. I need to do better about teaching them laundry and cooking and cleaning. I need to help them save their money and remind them to pay their tithing. I need to be a better example to them. I need to spend more time with them one on one. Listen to them and what they want, need, think .  I need to get to know my kids better,.

I need to be a better wife.  I need to rely on my husband more. I need to trust that he can do things without me nagging and always going behind him and re-doing things. I need to reassure him daily that he is a great man and that I appreciate all his love and hard work, loyalty and dedication, I need to be more open and less stingy with my affection. I need to help him fulfill his potential and not be so protective of our time together. I think I hold him back in some ways.

I need to be a better friend. I need to let people know that I love and appreciate them on a more regular basis. I need to be the good example and the one that people know they can always turn to, talk to, rely on etc.  I want people to know that I wont judge, that I will do my best to listen and show compassion and help them in any way that I can.
At the same time I also need to learn to say NO.  I think sometimes we overextend ourselves. We say yes to everything and then it leaves us with very little in our vessels for ourselves and our families. I need to do a better job at balancing my life, organizing my time and prioritize my needs and wants.

I feel that 2017 is going to be a great year for me to expand my horizons, stretch my wings and fly.
baby steps, Sarah. Baby Steps.

2009- my resolutions

UGH. I HATE resolutions.
hate hate hate them.
But every December 31st as the ball drops onto a new year my mind starts working.
"what can I improve on in my life?" "how can I be happier?" "what can I do to cultivate a more spiritual side?" "how can I set a good example to those around me?" "how much weight can I lose if I eat nothing but oatmeal and salad?" You know, the basics.
But every year i look at my list and it is about 476 items long. I know that I will get way to frustrated and give up if I have too many to work on. so I went through and slashed out most of them, and really focused on the BIG 10. These are the 10 things I will work on for the year.


1. Curb my potty mouth. Unfortunately I picked up a very bad habit from my mother and have struggled with it my entire life. I REALLY need to watch what I say, as my kids have started repeating some of my better epithets. I dont think my parents really believe that Charles is the one teaching them those words. Spencer W Kimball, 12th prophet of the LDS church stated "Profanity is the effort of a weak mind to express itself forcibly". Ouch.

2. Couch to 5k. One of my goals this year is to get healthier and more fit. My friend rebecca told me about this exercise program she has started called Couch to 5k. Basically in 9 weeks you train to run a 5k. It iss 3 days a week, for about 30 minutes a day. You start really slow and work your way up to 5k. It is just up my alley. You can find the program HERE. Then my next goal is 10k. Eventually by the end of the year I want to train for a 1/2 marathon. Shanda and Michelle and Alison did that this year and they look just so fantastic and healthy and beautiful. I totally hate them.(in a jealous fat girl way)And Jolin did the full marathon and is my hero. So by the end of the year I will be a fit and healthy active runner. It all starts with that first step. (plus it will help me be in bathing suit shape by our Cruise in September) I will look better, feel better and it will help me with my drooping energy levels and certainly my sleep patterns as well. I will have more energy for school as well.

3.Graduate School on my target date. I have noticed at school there are a lot of advanced students who should have graduated weeks and weeks ago, but are still there because they dont take it seriously enough to have their attendance where it needs to be. They are taking up space in the school that should be reserved for the newer students. My targeted graduation date is September 12th. My goal is to graduate on that date. If I miss a day I will come in on Saturday to make it up. I am not messing around. I am getting it DONE. I dont want to be one of those "space takers" who just come when they feel like it. Their attendance is just enough to not get kicked out.

4. Cultivate a more spiritual side. I need to do a better job of reading scriptures and praying with my kids and teaching them about the bible and about Jesus Christ. I need to do a better job about going to church and to all my meetings, not just when something is expected of me. I need to read the sunday school lesson ahead of time and be prepared to participate in the lessons. I need to magnify ALL of my callings, not just the ones I like. i need to do a better job of being a good member of the church and a good example to those around me.

5. COOK AT HOME! I like to cook. But when I am in school and come home and nothing has been taken out of the freezer, I am more apt to just order a pizza or go to subway instead of finding something to eat. I need to do a better job of meal planning and prioritizing. I need to make sure that Charles knows what needs to be out of the fridge or freezer, in case i forget. I want my kids to grow up with an appreciation for healthy, home cooked meals...instead of cheeseburgers and pizza.(Peter I am not worried about. he is a fruit and veggie nut. But Finn on the other hand has become accustomed to the fatty fast food industry)

6. Simplify my home. I have too much junk. My goal this year is to flylady my way to a clean, organized, clutter free home. I keep my house clean, but I have so much junk and knick knacks and kid clutter and STUFF. My goal is to keep my house "company ready" at all times. On her site, flylady asks "Are you tired of CHAOS?"(Cant have anyone over syndrome). Yes. Yes flylady I am tired of CHAOS.

7. BUDGETING. With the economy the way it is, I resolve to do a better job of budgeting. No more impulse purchases. No more "extras" I dont really need. I am putting myself on a cash budget and once it is gone, it is gone. I will work harder at getting the bills paid on time every month. I will be much more respectful of my money and work harder at being more financially organized.

8. Cutting out junk and pop. Everything in moderation. I know this. This year I resolve to cut out 90% of the junk food and crap I eat. I resolve to drink non-carbonated beverages only and to drink the proper amount of water my body needs. My body will thank me, and I will be happier in the long run. No more sugar slumps. No more caffeine cravings. No more dependence on sugar and pop to give me energy. Occasional sweets are fine, but not all day every day. I am also including vitamins in this. I am REALLY going to work harder to take my vitamins every day.

9. Patience. I REALLY need to work on my patience. Unfortunately i have a quick, fiery temper. I fly off the handle way too quickly. My anger is not a long-smoldering one. It is a flash fire that flares out of control very quickly. It is like gasoline to a flame. My goal this year is to find a way and techniques to keep my anger under control and to find ways to be more patient with others, especially my family.

10. Personal beauty. No I dont mean the things like showering and brushing my teeth. I already do those things. And I am not talking about vanity and always looking in a mirror. I mean always making sure my hair and make-up look their best. Always making sure my legs are shaved and eyebrows are waxed. Making sure I exemplify my chosen profession the best I can. I want to make sure my clothes are pressed and wrinkle free, and that I always look my best. even if it is jeans and a T shirt. Even if I am just running to Walmart or to the Post Office. I want to present a good and positive image no matter what I am doing, no matter where I am going. The better I look, the better I will feel about myself and the easier most of my other goals will be. The better I look, the better i will feel and the harder I will try to make myself a better person all around. The better I look, there better i will feel and the easier for me to help others around me feel the same way.


So those are my BIG 10 goals this 2009. It will nto be a cake walk. In fact I expect to really have to work hard to make sure I am changing my life for the better. No one said it would be easy, but it will be worth it.

HAPPY 2009 and may you keep all your resolutions!