Monday, July 20, 2009

pbbbbllltltttttt

happy birthday. woooooooo.

Another year, another grey hair another line in my crows feet.
I wont lie, this year kind of sucked.
Since my last birthday post 1 year ago things have really changed.
I have started back to school full time. I am hardly ever home. I hardly have time to cook or clean. My house is a wreck and my kids live on cereal and PB&J sandwiches.
My husband finally has a good job, but works 2nd shift, so I hardly ever see him.
I go to bed late, wake up too early and feel like crap most days.
I have yo yo'd with my weight, struggled with my diet and my self esteem has taken a nosedive.
I have great intentions to go to the Y, but wake up feeling like garbage and decide to sleep instead of doing what I need to do, thus perpetuating the cycle.
I yelled too much at my kids and lost my temper too easily. i even had THREE friends take me aside in concern, asking if there was anything they could do to help me out and point out that I was not the same Sarah they used to know.
I attended a friends wedding as a bridesmaid and had a severe case of PMS with bloating and cramps the day of. I felt like humpty dumpty the whole night.
Peter had a health scare that just about broke my spirit.
I have struggled with my testimony and faith.
I have struggled with my callings at church.
I have struggled financially.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety.

BUT on the plus side this year was also really great:
I started back to school full time. I am almost done and in a few months will be starting off on a career that I really love. My in laws are living with us for the summer, watching the kids and helping out with the house. I am able to come home to a straight house, happy kids and they get real food other than sandwiches and cold cereal.
Yes I dont get to see charles as often, but he no longer works weekends so I get to see him all weekend and in the mornings before I go to school
I do go to bed too late and my kids do wake me up too early. Maybe that is something I can work on.
I have finally made up my mind, made the commitment and have the resolve to stop the madness once and for all with my diet and exercise. I have enlisted Charles to help and am forcing him along.
I have made the concerted effort to stay calm with my kids. I have really paid attention to my "hot buttons" and "trigger issues" and if I feel something coming along I can diffuse the situation easier.
I had three friends pull me aside and tell me I wasnt the same Sarah they used to know and they were concerned. It proved to me that I have loving and caring friends who are looking out for me.
I reconnected with old friends and made new ones at my friends wedding, humpty dumpty and all.
Peters health scare turned out all right in the end. A lot of "why me" and crying etc, but he is completely healthy and fine thanks to his medicinal regiment etc.
I have struggled with my testimony and faith. Then I was called to give a talk in church. My first talk in 12 years. It was exactly the lesson I needed to learn. It made me go back and revisit memories and feelings from my past. It made me realize what I was missing and how to get it back.
I have struggled with my callings, but realized that I just need to have an open mind and work hard and the blessings will come. I struggled with the Activity day Girls, but opened my heart to them and they are the nicest, sweetest most loving group of girls, who just want to love and share. They are so creative and fun and I have found myself so impressed with them and their sweet spirits.
I have struggled financially, but now charles has a really good job and is bringing home a steady paycheck plus commissions plus really great insurance. We can pay the bills, have leftover money and see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. We have set up a savings account, set up a coin and tip jar and see our savings and finances really picking up. In a few months I will have a job making money as well.

We got to go to Disney World, all expenses paid. We had a great time as a family.
We got to go to Disney On Ice, The WBT Skyshow fireworks, apple-picking, to the beach, to a UNC basketball game and had a feature story on Carolina news 14.
Finn started Kindergarten and despite all the notes and telephone calls home about him, he did exceptionally well on his report card.
Peter was in 2nd grade and did so well. His teacher and his PE teacher worked extra hard with him and I saw so much improvement.
We planned, booked and paid for a cruise to the caribbean with charles family for his mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. We planned, booked and paid for fun excursions for this cruise(when I say "we" i really mean "I")

so despite all the bads, there were a lot of goods.
So bring it on life, I am ready for this next year. Hit me with your best shot.
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