Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My diet...for the millionth time.

www.my-calorie-counter.com The webs free Diet Tracker
I have been working hard to lose weight. i finally got serious when I caught glance of myself in a mirror at school and realized just how awful I looked. It doesnt matter how many cute haircuts I get, or the great new color I have, or the nice french tip nails or pedicures, if I look like humpty dumpty I am going to feel bad about myself. If my joey pouch is a dunlap (it's done lapped over my belt) I get mad and then binge eat to hide my depression.
I realize I eat in the following situation:
  • anger
  • depression
  • financial worries
  • Peter stress
  • school stress
  • social setting

So looking at this list it is like 90% of my day.

So I have set a goal and am sticking to it. I am keeping track of what I eat. I am keeping track of exercise.
I have taped up pictures of skinny me to the fridge and cabinets, so when I am tempted to reach for a snack I see them and realize what I am working for.
A huge problem was going out to eat. At school I woulf go out to eat instead of bringing my lunch. It is kind of hard to lose weight eating chinese and chick fil-a and wendys and Bojangles every day.
So I have started bringing my lunch...and only bringing my drivers license with me. No cash, no credit cards. So i cant go out to eat even if I wanted as I have no money with me. I cant even go to the vending machine, which has ZERO healthy options. When I go out to eat with friends I will tell them that I am on a diet and need them to help me find something healthy to eat. I will ask for a box at the start of a meal and immediately put half of it away for leftovers and only eat a healthy portion size.
It has forced me to think about what I should be eating. I have to wake up a little earlier every day to make my lunch. I have to keep the fridge stocked with healthy fruits and vegetables and smart snacks.
I dont have a ton of time to get to the YMCA every day, so once this bronchitis moves out I will be back early mornings. (I jumped on the trampoline yesterday...mistake. I am not quite ready for strenuous lung exercise yet)
So i have a list of activities I can do when I am feeling angry or depressed or sad etc.
I only eat at the kitchen table now, instead of in front of the TV or while at the computer playing games. I am trying to deprogram myself from mindless eating.
I know it is all about moderation and exercise and is a complete lifestyle change. I just need to reach down deep inside and find that motivation. I need to embrace this change completely so I can be the best me ever. so I can look back and think that my 30s were way better than my 20s. That I was happier and healthier and sexier than the old me.
So I am off to look at my gorgeous bathing suit picture from 15 years ago, which has a prominent featured place on the freezer, which is where I keep the ice cream, and find that strength to be the new and improved Sarah.
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