OVERWHELMED

 hi friends,

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Just so grouchy and mad and upset and frustrated.  I didn't sleep well (hubby had a bad night, so he was tossing and turning and snoring), the bed we are currently sleeping in is too small, too lumpy and just plain uncomfortable.  It is not the kind of bed I use and so everything hurts because it has zero support.  I am on my cycle and it has been a beast this month and I am pissed off about it. Basically the perfect storm to push me over the edge for the first time in a long time.

 We move into our new place tomorrow and guess who is going to be at work ALL WEEKEND??  Yep, Hubby. 12 hour shift today, tomorrow and Sunday.  (@%*!)..

 So guess who gets to be there for the furniture delivery, the mattress delivery and the PODS delivery all by herself?  ME!!  Guess who gets to be the one to unload everything and set everything up?  ME!  Guess who gets to go grocery shopping and stock pantry all by herself? ME!    Guess who has to pack up the belongings in the current house and make sure they get over to the new house? ME.   Guess who gets to be the one to wrangle the cats and put them in the car? ME!  Guess who gets to make 3 or 4 trips back and forth to get everything in the back of her car that we have brought with us because hubby will be at work with his car. ME!  Guess who gets to get alllll the laundry done ahead of time because our new washer and dryer wont get delivered until Tuesday? ME!

so needless to say I am overwhelmed. I am angry that I am left holding the bag and all the responsibilities are falling on my shoulders. I am irritated with my spouse who would not ask to get off a few hours early to help with things.   He is new to the job and doesnt want to rock the boat.  I understand that, but at the same time it's moving day and we have A LOT to do.

I am trying to find healthy ways to deal with my anger  and feelings, but really all I want to do is go and eat a giant slice of chocolate cake !  

so how can I get through this?

1. make a list of everything that will need to be done before tomorrow.

2. schedule a time-frame to get everything done.

3. take one step at a time.

4. eat cake.

5. cross off items as they get completed.

6. see #4

7. deep breaths and meditate for a minute

8. ask for help

9. see #4

10. stick to the schedule.

11. take my supplements and let it do its job,

12. go into Oregon and find an edible (haha. but seriously tho, would it be considered medical?)

Ok, enough gibber jabber, I have got to get to work! 

SUPERFOODS TO THE RESCUE!!

 With all the talk about getting healthy these days, and with the increase in sales of supplements, gym equipment and more, it is obvious that people are trying to get healthy, lose weight, get in shape or maintain their shape.  COVID has everyone in a tailspin and the medical supplies industry, the supplements and personal nutrition industries have been booming!

One word often bandied about is "SUPERFOODS".  We hear it on shows or ads,  "Oh (insert food here) is a superfood, and that means ______."    We read it in all those health magazines. We see it on the internet.  Every week there seems to be a new superfood fad or superfood plant du jour. Thanks to the hype,  the term superfood has just seemed to become just a marketing ploy buzzword, and there are lots of people wondering "Just what is a superfood and is it really that effective since every week there seems to be a different one taking the world and internet by storm?"

So a superfood is a dietary nickname for any food that are nutritional dynamos!  A superfood is typically extremely high is nutrients, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, amino acids or even healthy fats.  They fuel your body to help fight against disease, nutritional deficiencies and effects of those things.   and YES, superfoods are SUPER effective in your diet and nutritional lifestyle! 

Simply stated they are usually a food that is nutritionally dense and considered extremely beneficial for ones health and well-being.

So, what are some examples of superfoods?

ACAI BERRY- A.K.A Brazilian Beauty Berry!  Loaded with anti oxidants this powerhouse is chock full of everything to keep your skin looking youthful and healthy! Also said to help with cognitive function(brain health), Heart Health and weight loss.  

ALOE VERA- I think everyone grew up with at least one aloe plant in their house.  We used it mostly for cuts, scrapes and burns, but did you know that Aloe is TOTALLY a superfood??  Aloe Vera has 75 active compounds that are beneficial. Vitamins A, C, E, B1, B2, B3, B6 and B12! Lots of minerals like calcium, magnesium and potassium!  This powerhouse contains anti bacterial and anti viral agents, and helps with pain relief as well.  Gut Health, Immune system, arthritis , skin care and cholesterol are all things that can be improved by the proper use of aloe. who knew that little potted succulent was more than just sunburn care?

AMLA (INDIAN GOOSEBERRY)-   The Amla is super high in Vitamin C, Iron and calcium.  It is Great for your immune system, heart health, hair and is high in fiber!  It also contains chromium which can help stabilize blood sugar levels!  It is a green grape looking fruit that is said to contain 5 of the 6 tastes (sour, sweet, bitter, pungent and astringent). 

ASHWAGANDHA-  This plant is like an evergreen shrub found mostly in India, Middle East and Africa. It has long been a dietary and medicinal staple overseas!  Ashwgandha is classified as an Adaptogen, meaning it helps your body manage stress.  It can boost brain function, help lower stress, help lower cortisol levels and help fight symptoms of anxiety as well!  Some studies have shown effectiveness against tumor growth, and helping prevent spread of cancer. 

BROCCOLI-  I dont know why kids hate broccoli!! I always loved it as a kid, and it is my sons favorite vegetable.  "Eat your trees!"  Broccoli is an amazing superfood!  This cruciferous  vegetable packs a punch in the vitamins and minerals!  Vitamins A, C, E and K and a variety of Vitamin B, including folic acid.  Higher in fiber and helps increase iron absorption.       

CRANBERRY-  This sour bog fruit is AMAZING.  Who would have thought that the humble cranberry was such a contender!! High in Vitamin C (think immune system), it also contains powerful cancer fighting compounds called proanthocyanadins (PAC'S). Cranberries help protect your DNA from free radical damage and high oxidative stress. Great for stomach and bladder health,(Thats why pure cranberry juice is so good for urinary tract infections!) and help contribute to normal cell function and cell health.  Promotes liver detox and a healthy anti-inflammatory response.  This baby isnt just for thanksgiving turkey anymore! 

GRAPE SEED/ GRAPE SKIN-  So now this seems like a weird entry, right?? But grape seeds are ridiculous!  Grape Seeds are rich in anti oxidants and flavanoids.  They support a healthy venous system,  are great for reducing oxidative stress, inflammation and tissue damage. Blood pressure, collagen production, oral health,  bone strength, blood pressure, and improved kidney fuction are all part of grape seed benefits!   The Skin of a grape shouldn't be overlooked either. Grape skins are high in antioxidants and help suppress cancer pathways, helps promote cell death in cancer cells, decreases systemic inflammation and helps stimulate mitochondrial activity!

GINSENG- This bad boy has been touted as a cure all for years. A little herb and root has been a popular remedy for  a myriad of ailments , everything from sexual dysfunction to brain fog to low energy.   More energy, better cognitive function and better sex drive??  More studies have shown that ginseng isnt just for libido and energy. It also helps stabilize blood sugar,  it beneficially targets the immune system to help combat inflammation. Some studies were even done to see how ginseng works in combating influenza. 

GREEN TEA-  This tea has been used for thousands of years in traditional Asian medicine. It is used to treat depression, headaches, arthritis pain and weight loss.  The nutritional value of Green Tea is astounding! Chock full of antioxidants, this plant can help fight damage to the tissues and cells. It helps improve cholesterol levels and has been thought to help protect against the nerve cell damage due to dementia or Alzheimers.  The antioxidants in green tea are also a skin boosting benefit, including anti-aging...so drink up!

KALE-  This superfood seems to be the one that rubs people the wrong way. It's Kale this. Kale that. Kale. Kale. Kale.  Whats the deal with Kale?   Well for starters Kale is one of the most nutrient dense foods on the entire planet! This leafy green is one of  best sources of Vitamin K in the world (Think bone health, blood clotting etc).  Kale has been used to help manage blood sugar levels, digestive health , heart health, eye health,  skin and hair health, and contains many anti-cancer properties.  So despite the sneering and derision this leafy green gets, it really isn't just for hipsters.  Kale is like the Hulk of superfoods.

MANGOSTEEN-  If you are like me I had NEVER in my life heard of Mangosteen. I looked it up and was amazed by it's potential in the superfoods fight! It is a gorgeous looking fruit (although obsure) from southeast Asia, and is packed with a punch of everything thats good for you!  It contains a rich supply of nutrients, fiber and unique antioxidants. Mangosteen has powerful compounds that show anti inflammatory,  anti-aging, anti-cancer and anti-diabetic effects. They are still doing mangosteen studies in regards to weight loss and seeing some promising results. Hearth health, immunity boosting vitamin C, brain health and digestive health are also positive benefits of the Mangosteen.

MAQUIBERRY-  Another obscure fruit that I had never heard of, but is similar to the Acai berry.  It is grown mainly in south america and has been used for thousands of years by many natives, especially around Chile.  Maquiberry is LOADED with anti-oxidants.  They help stabilize free radicals and help prevent cell damage and it's adverse effects.  Anti imflammatory, helps protect against heart disease, helps lower cholesterol, and is used for eye health, gut health and has shown promising effects in the fight against cancer.  Anti aging properties, skin properties.  This little miracle berry has it all!!

NONI-  Noni is derived from a popular evergreen plant, found in southern and southeast asia and in the south pacific.  Noni has been used for millenia to boost the immune system and detoxify the body.  Noni has been used to help arthritis and other inflammation. It is great in the fight against gout. It is good for the hair and skin. Packed with Vitamin C it fights free radicals and oxidation, so is a great fight in the battle against aging.  also helps to reduce stress !  A shot a day can also help combat fever and help stabilize proper immune response. Noni also helps the body produce nitric oxide, which is essential ! Nitric oxide helps lower blood pressure, improves athletic performance and recovery, helps with brain function, and helps your body absorb nutrients more readily.  The NONI is amazing.

POMEGRANATE-  When I was a kid, we lived in California for a few years.  Our neighbor had a pomegranate tree and would let us take the ones that would hang over the fence.  My friend and I would grab one on our way to school, crack them open and suck the juice off all those little seed.  I LOVED Pomegranate as a kid, and I had no idea it was that good for me!!   Pomegranate juice has THREE TIMES the antioxidants of red wine and green tea!! Pomegranate has impressive anti inflammatory properties, and promising studies show a reduction of inflammation in breast cancer, prostate cancer and colon cancer cells. Blood pressure, heart disease and arthritis/joint pain can all run scared of the glorious pomegranate too!!  These glistening red seeds are a true treasure in the superfoods canon.

RED RASPBERRIES-  I Love raspberries. My favorite pie is raspberry pie. My favorite Jam is raspberry.  I.LOVE.RASPBERRIES.  Raspberries are an edible species of the rose family (who knew?) Raspberries are full of fiber, vitamin C and are relatively low in calories.   Raspberries have an antioxidative effect which helps combat chronic disease such as heart disease, obesity, diabetes and cancer. Adding raspberry benefits can hep in the anti-aging process, weight loss and helps with arthritis pain. The vitamin C helps boost collagen production, and  also helps boost the immune system.

SPINACH-   "Im strong to the finish 'cause I eats me spinach, Im Popeye the Sailor man!".   There is a reason popeye ate his spinach!  Loaded with nutrients, yet low in calories, Spinach REALLY packs a punch.  It helps stabilize blood glucose levels, reduces risk of developing cancer,  aids in good bone health, great if you have anemia, reduces hypertension, contains anti-inflammatory properties,  helps your body relax and combat stress (even aids in a good night sleep!)  Immune system, heart health,  brain function, glowing skin,  helps with acne and is a great power in the anti-aging arena.!  whaaaattt??? who would have thought this little leafy green could help with all that?

WILD ALASKAN BLUEBERRY-    Wild blueberries contain up to 48% more antioxidants than their domesticated brothers and sisters.  Flavanoids abound in the wild blueberry, which are powerful anti inflammatory and anti oxidants. Wild blueberry can help support cardiovascular health, eye health and  help support healthy blood sugar.  These berries are good for the brain and can hep protect it, help improve cognitive and memory function and may help with the slow decline often seen in aging. Soooo, why wild Alaskan??    Alaskan blueberries receive more UV exposure during the summer growing season (the whole 24 hours of sun thing), and with the cold temps and soil it shocks the root system of the blueberries. The blueberries produce higher levels of anti oxidants and flavanoids to combat the stress, creating a more nutritionally dense berry than those grown in lower latitudes.  So yes plain blueberries are great, but for a truly powerful effect, the wild alaskan blueberry is the real MVP in the blueberry world.

WILD CAUGHT ALASKAN SALMON- The only non plant on this list, the wild caught Alaska Salmon is a game changer..  Super High in Omega 3 fatty acids and bioactive peptides, Salmon helps provide joint and cartilage support, insulin effectiveness and control of inflammation in the digestive tract.  Cardiovascular health, improved brain function, improved mood and cognition, decreased cancer risk, better eye health are just a few of the benefits that wild caught salmon provides.  So why wild caught? And again, why Alaska?    Wild caught salmon has an overall better nutritional profile, due to its diverse natural diet and habitat.  The Alaskan salmon lives in an environment that has been less polluted with pesticides, and pollutants, has a natural and diverse diet than anywhere else, and has not been manipulated by humans for cost control, no added antibiotics etc.  They are in their wild habitat and live, swim and eat what nature intended!!

WOLFBERRY-  I had never heard of Wolfberry...until I realized it was known by its more famous moniker "GOJI ".  The Wolfberry/Goji is  also affectionately nicknamed the Fountain of Youth.  This little miracle berry is native to a shrub grown in china. The berries have been eaten for generations, claiming longer life and better health.   Goji/Wolfberry helps contribute to an overall feeling of calmness, improved athletic performance, better sleep and even weight loss. Goji helps slow vision loss, helps reduce cholesterol and helps stabilize blood sugar.  High in Vitamin C, it is a natural immune booster.  Helps with cholesterol,  promotes wound healing, reduce the risk of cancer and much more. Who would have thought this little red orange fruit could be such a heavyweight!

SO...How do we incorporate ALLLLLLLL these superfoods into our diet without breaking the bank, or having nine million things to take every day? There are all sorts of supplement powders, pills, teas, blends etc that you can find online.  How do you know which one is reputable? which one is truly going to make a difference?

MY personal supplement program of choice contains all these superfoods in an easy to consume packet.  One in the morning with breakfast and one at night with dinner.  My health has improved dramatically since starting this 6 weeks ago.  I sleep better, my skin looks amazing,  I have lost weight, my arthritis pain is almost gone, my blood sugar has stabilized, my blood pressure is no longer sky high. I no longer have the anxiousness and anxiety, depression and we havent had so much as a single sneeze.  My husband works in a high traffic urgent care and they have seen Covid, the flu, strep and more. He tests patients ALL DAY LONG,  and he has not gotten sick.  We here at home have not gotten sick.    It is the real deal. 

SO if you are looking to add superfoods as a supplement click here to try the best in the business!!

COLLAGEN- What is it, and why is it so important?

 "Your body has so many cells, parts and systems. And many of them are help together with collagen. The most abundant protein in your body is all about connection and strength. That's because collagen's adhesive qualities are only matched by its ability to provide structure and strength" (--Learn about collagen   askthescientists.com--)

Usually skin comes to mind when the word collagen is metioned, and that's because collagen is a huge component of your largest organ (your skin).  BUT your skin is only a small fraction of your body where collagen is found. It's also found in your Blood vessels, teeth, cartilage, discs between your vertebrae, digestive tract, and as a protective casing for your kidneys and other organs.

AGE  IS COLLAGENS BIGGEST ENEMY!!

(I know this from personal experience)

 The older you get the less collagen your body naturally produces. And the collagen that is produced is not the high quality collagen of your youth. This will impact everything from the appearance of your hair, skin and nails to your joint health, gut health and bone health. You can use all sorts of creams and serums, but without collagen you are just covering the problem with grease. It may feel good, but neep down it isnt as healthy as it could be.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that collagen is my best friend.

Here are just a few things that collagen can do for you:

A while back I added a liquid collagen supplement to my diet.  I had read about it, listened to testimonials and thought it would help a little,(people tend to over-exaggerate sometimes)... but the results I have had have blown me away!  My hair and skin and nails are no longer dry and dull and brittle, the pain in my joints has reduced dramatically, I no longer have to be close to a bathroom after eating as my gut health has been transformed and I no longer have that mid afternoon brain fog. It has also helped with my metabolism, has helped with appetite suppression (a lucky unknown side-effect perhaps?) and I sleep better.  

DISCLAIMER: I did this collagen supplement in conjunction with a superfoods concentrate and my health has never been better. I havent been sick(no summer cold, no flu, no strep, NOTHING), I have more energy than I know what to do with (no more mid morning/afternoon caffeine soda to get me through the day) and my moods have gone from jekyll and hyde to smooth and even keeled.  I will be doing a separate post later this week on superfoods and importance of good nutrition.

I started the collagen a few weeks into my superfoods regiment and could tell a HUGE difference in quality of life shortly after adding the collagen supplement.

If you want to take control of your health and help your body work the best it can, I highly recommend a collagen supplement.  It wont be overnight, those people who do the "I tried collagen for 2 weeks and didnt see a difference" didnt use it long enough. Your body takes about 4-6 weeks to adjust to any new regiment--  Give collagen 90 days and be transformed.

Fingers Crossed!!

 Since moving to Boise, we have been living with my in-laws.  Not the best situation in the world, but it is rent free and we have a place to stay while we look for a house.  When we first started looking at moving here, the housing market was good, lots of rentals available etc.  Boise was growing fast, but it wasn't an explosive, break-neck pace.  We knew we would be living with parents, but we thought it would be a lot easier to find something.

We got here and realized that Boise has suffered some MAJOR growing pains, there are more people moving in than what there is housing for. YIKES!

Thankfully hubby was able to find a job fairly quickly, but finding a place to live has proven to be quite challenging.

We decided that at this point in our life we just want to rent.  The housing market here is such that buying costs just as much as renting, and if anything goes wrong with a house you own, you are responsible for the costs.  If anything goes wrong with the rental, they fix it!  

I have been scouring all the sites religiously, even turned on "instant alerts" in case something popped up that we could jump on right away. Every time we would find something that would be good, I would call or apply and it was already gone. I have spent several hundred dollars on rental applications only to be told "you are on a waiting list, but there are xxx number of people who applied ahead of you...but we will still take your money".

  We had gotten close with one house, toured and submitted financials. We liked it well enough (The kitchen was a solid 10, but the rest of the downstairs was maybe a 6 and the upstairs was just ok.) Bedrooms were small, not a ton of storage or closet space.  It was new and shiny and pretty, and it was nice, but it wouldnt have been one we stayed in for a long period of time because of the size and the set up. We walked through and kept going It's nice...BUT. (Probably never a good sign)  In the end it didnt even matter because we didnt get it anyway.

  FRUSTRATION ABOUNDS!!

So the other day I was scrolling through and saw a house that looked really nice. It was a little out of our price range, but I kept trying to find a way to justify and rationalize the extra expense.  (If I cut out this, and I dont buy that and if we do this and if we do that and If we dont go on vacation and if hubby works overtime etc etc etc)

In the back of my head I KNEW it was out of our range, but I couldnt stop going back to it. I kept asking hubby "Are you sure this one is out of range?"   He kept say . "Sarah I am not comfortable paying that amount, it is just a little too high for our budget. I dont want to have to cut out everything just to afford it". 

...sad shuffling away, head down, moping...

The other day I happened to be looking again and that house popped up.  I just couldnt stop thinking about it, and as I was looking I realized something had changed.  THEY HAD JUST REDUCED THE PRICE TO OUR BUDGET!!   I immediately called the contact and set up a viewing.  As soon as Son walked in he went "Woah, I like this".  The downstairs has ample living room space, a great dining room area. The only downside is the kitchen is maybe a 6, which is not a big deal to me.    The laundry room is large with a huge pantry area and extra under stairs storage. The garage is big with plenty of room for 2 cars AND extra to spare.  as we went upstairs, right at the top is an open bonus area PERFECT for a couch and Media area/video games etc.  The master bedroom is GIGANTIC, it almost echos.  The en suite bathroom is great and the walk in closet is amazing.   The other bedrooms are nice sized AND both have walk in closets!!  The bathroom is nice and the attached linen closet IS ALSO A WALK IN!!!     

The more we walked through, the more excited we got.  Hubby AND Son both felt really good about it and I felt good about it.  I Immediately called the agent and said we want to move forward,  They are currently doing financials and reference checks, and he said if nothing adverse pulls up that we could switch the utilities over and move in 9/1 !! This is a house we could see ourselves very happy in for a long time!

So we are PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING   that all goes well, all our financials and references check out and they know how serious we are about this house and being a long term tenant.

So any good vibes sent our way would be much appreciated.  We feel really good about it, but maybe that is because I am eternal optimist and want it so badly.  Apart from not having a wildly fantastic kitchen, it ticks everything on our list! Size, rooms, layout, storage and closet space, area/neighborhood.  Lawn Maintenance is even included!!!

So hopefully we will get this win and finally be able to completely settle and get back to a routine!

Never too late!!

 

"It's never too late to be what you might have been" (George Eliot)

I felt this.

    The past few months as I have been trying to figure out my path, I keep getting distracted by my own chatter.. I know in my heart the direction I am going has been put in my path, dropped into my lap, slapped me in the face...pick your metaphor.  

I know that at 44 I am COMPLETELY starting over, total new direction, trying to find myself in the process. I have the goals in mind, I know how I am SUPPOSED to reach them. That's not the issue. 

The past 3 weeks has been hard for me, like REALLY HARD.   I have been trying to get out of my head, trying to get away from myself and get to the person that I know I have always had underneath, but have been too scared or nervous or un-trusting of myself.  I have always been so worried about what so-and-so will think, or I don't want to bug people, or I want everyone to like me so I am going to stay in my own lane and not make waves or say anything.   It has been hard for me to say "No" a lot of times. I often find myself being taken advantage of and overextended.   Many times I rush into things without fully thinking things through  and then I think "well if you hadnt done that..."

 I was just kind of feeling BLAH about my whole situation, and I realized that it was TIME TO STOP MY PITY PARTY!  I may be 44, but I dont have to act like I have one foot in the grave and wont ever be successful and the best years are behind me etc.

I know that my hard work will pay off. I know that what I have chosen to do will be successful. I am surrounded by positive mentors who have been successful who are giving me the roadmap. It is never too late to be...

I get excited about the future. I get excited about reaching my health goals, excited about reaching my financial goals...but I get scared at the thought of what goes into achieving. That has been the biggest personal roadblock,as I tend to psych myself out and let the "You will never be good enough" get into my head.  Discouragement is a hard pill to swallow for me. I know my triggers and my surroundings well enough to know what happens when I start to wallow.  I have to create a NEW MINDSET for my life. I have to create a new state of being.  I have to create new micro habits to get past the old stumbling blocks and bust through into achievement.  

I have to have short term memory when people say "no thanks" or "Im not interested". When I present something to a prospective client or customer I hear "Another magic pill " or "just another scheme", I have to remember that it is THEIR insecurities, not mine.

  I know the value of what I offer, I dont need their validation.   

 I have to keep going. I have to keep talking to people and posting my stories. I have to keep posting my successes. I also have to remember that for every 1 or 2 or even 10 people say no, there will be 1 that says yes. If I have a few good people with me who are as serious as I am about their health and their money, I cannot fail!! 

Have you ever felt the own negative chatter in your head? Have you ever let it hold you back from doing what you know is the right thing for you? Have you ever let someone elses chatter hold you back?  WHY??  why do we let others opinions make the decisions that will impact our own lives?

Have you ever wanted financial freedom so badly you could almost taste it?? You would sign up for every stupid thing that came your way because you thought "Maybe this is the one".  Have you held yourself back from getting into something that could be amazing because you had been burned in the past?

Have you ever taken just ONE MORE CHANCE to find it was the best thing that has ever happened to you?  I have.  

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!! I am finding my financial freedom. I am finding my health. I am finding out that i am NEVER too old to become what I could have always been! I have found one of the most amazing companies, their products are truly amazing and change lives. I am living proof of that.

. I am NEVER looking back!

Interested in knowing more? Click HERE

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!

Getting outside my comfort zone.

With all the changes to my life and with all the extra time I have had on my hands(thanks 2020 for kicking my a**), I thought about what I REALLY wanted.  If I am being TRULY honest with myself, what do I want? What do I want to make happen for myself? My family? My health? My finances? 

The past 10 years I stayed in my comfort zone.  I had an AMAZING job that I absolutely loved, clients that I adored, money that really allowed so much more financial freedom and allowed me to help my husband go back to school to find his passion in the health care field.   I thought I was happy. I thought I had it figured out, I thought I knew what I was going to do for the rest of my life. I was oblivious to the fact that my body was breaking down, my anxiety and emotions were getting the better of me, I always felt a negative energy around certain people at work and it brought me down. I took it home with me and sometimes took it out on my poor family.  It wasn't fair to them.

When Peter died last October I realized just how much I had missed. Yes I had given him as good of a life as I could, made sure he traveled as much as he could and experienced new things and had fun. But looking back I was gone from my house 50+ hours a week, between work , commute and church callings.  I kind of had my a-ha moment and a mini mental break down.  I decided then and there that work and church callings were NOT going to keep me away from my family.  I had prioritized them for so long over my own family, and that in turn caused damage to relationships with my kids, my husband, many tears and frustrations and anxiety.  I thought I was doing the right thing. Helping us gain our financial freedom, allowing us to pay our bills and have 2 nice cars to drive, sending my husband back to school mid life, allowing us to go on fun vacations and be able to provide "the things".   But in doing this I lost out on too much time. I had sundays and mondays off, but sundays always seemed to be filled with church stuff and by the time Monday rolled around I was so tired and had to get everything done that I couldnt during the week. It was just a vicious cycle.

When we moved to Idaho, I made the conscious decision NOT to go back to work in the public sector. I realized that what I thought was an amazing life was actually a pretty toxic environment, and I was slowly losing myself and being brought down.  It's funny how once you are away from a situation you see just how damaging it was.

 I have 1 child left and he is a senior this year. He already has abandonment issues from when his brother was little, and we were constantly in the hospitals with him and poor son was shuffled around from friend to friend and grandparents to watch for weeks at a time. Because of this  he has always been a homebody, always wanted to be with us or near us, spend time with us.   I was not going to abandon him again.  

WANT#1- Be able to spend as much time with family as possible.

I also have struggled over the past 20 years with body image and weight.  I am very self conscious about my weight , and have been a chronic yo yo dieter.  One time I lost 75 pounds.  I was a size away from my goal and then all hell broke loose.  My dad died, my grandma died, my husband went back to school and I was the sole breadwinner for 2 years. It was a stress-fest and I quickly gained it back plus interest.

I tried to get back on the wagon many times and would do well for a minute, lose a few pounds, but then it would all fall apart.  When Peter died I fell into a super-funk and did nothing but ate ice cream and drank pop and made cookies. I ate my feelings.  By the time we moved to Idaho I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life.  I couldnt even go for a little walk without feeling completely winded and just shattered physically. It was ridiculous.  I knew I needed to get my eating and health under control. My blood pressure was THROUGH THE ROOF, my sugar was borderline and I wasnt sleeping well, none of my bodily cycles and functions were right and I struggled with chronic breakouts, yeast infections and UTI's.  My eczema was in a constant state of flare-up.  I was a hot frigging mess. I had hit rock bottom physically,  knew I needed to do something, and I knew I was finally ready for a permanent change.

 WANT#2- Get my health and weight under control. Be there so I can watch my son grow up and go to college and have a family of his own.  Be able to go out in nature and hike and ski and white water raft without killing myself or being so out of shape I couldnt participate. (DO you know what it is like to sign up for zip-lining and then being told you are too heavy and wont fit into the harness?...I do.)

WANT #3- finding financial freedom.  Creating and sticking to a budget. Working from home, being my own boss, finding the right fit for me to create the residual wealth I need. Having the money coming in, but being my own boss, taking charge of my own schedule, my own time. Not being a slave to a timeclock. Being able to have the finances for what we want and need and still having the time for my family.

WANT#4- overcoming my anxieties and putting myself out there for people.Opening myself up and being more genuine. Trying new things and not be afraid to fail.

So over the past month I have discovered 2 amazing companies.  One is a wellness and eating plan. I loved it so much that I have become a coach and can help others on the same health and weightloss journey reach their goals. In 24 days I have lost 23 pounds and 18 overall inches.  My body stays in constant fat burn mode and I lose weight while eating all day. I even get to eat things like pancakes and waffles and brownies! whaaaaa????  I love the community, I love the positivity, I love that this plan isnt a "diet".  It is a lifestyle change and they help you figure out what your triggers are, they help you combat your old negative and bad habits. They make you more aware of your surroundings, and help you keep focused. My chronic infections and UTI have cleared up, my wacked out cycles are normalizing and I am never hungry and never feel deprived or feel like it is a diet.  This amazing opportunity has ticked off all my boxes:   This allows me to stay home (#1), Get my health and weight back under control (#2), By being a coach helps me find financial freedom (#3), and is helping me overcome my anxieties and putting myself out there for people(#4). I will be at my goal by Christmas.

Side note- If I can help you reach your health and wellness goals, let me know!!

The other company is a nutraceutical that has CHANGED MY LIFE.   in less than 6 weeks my arthritis pain is almost all but gone.  My skin has cleared up, I sleep better and have energy through the roof. No pop or energy drinks or caffeine needed!! Both my husband and I decided to take the plunge and become distributors for this product and again, it ticks all my boxes  Family time, Health and wellness, financial freedom and overcoming anxieties and putting myself out there.

So with this Nutraceutical they have a rolling 90 day health and wellness challenge. Winner gets 10k, and there are 10 honorable mentions for 1k each.  I decided to REALLY put myself out there and enter the contest.  I have NEVER done anything like this before.  I had to get dressed into something that showed off every lump, bump and fat roll and then take a picture from the front, the back and the side.  I wanted to die from embarrassment.  Those pictures made me so ashamed at how far I had let myself go and was a good reminder why I was doing this.  In the mirror I didnt feel like it was too bad, but then to see it on film...I wanted to throw up.

But I will say that there was something almost liberating about uploading those photos and hitting submit.  I know in 90 days that I will be able to confidently upload my after pictures and be so proud of how far I will have come.  I know that between my lifestyle change and my optimal health that even if I dont win the contest, I will already be a winner.  I can have something to be proud of!

Putting myself out there for the world to see was HARD, and it kind of sucked. 

I have also decided to do more charity work.  We went to an orchard owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, out in Caldwell Idaho.  We helped pick peaches for their cannery to put in their storehouse and send out all over the world to the poor and needy.   I met someone who owns a hospice here in Boise and I volunteered to come in and cut hair for some of the residents if they would like.   I am trying to be out in the community more and do more. 

I am trying to be the person I knew I could always be, but was too shy and anxious and scared to be. 2020 has kicked my butt, but it has also put me through the refiners fire and I will come out strong and unbreakable.  Getting outside myself and really getting outside my comfort zone will take practice. I know the more I do it, the easier it will get. I just have to take those opportunities to do it. Make those opportunities.

I am grateful I have the time to get back to my blog, what a theraputic tool for me!

Craters of the Moon National Monument and Preserve

 Y'all...this is one of the NEATEST places I have ever been.  

From Wikipedia:  The Monument and Preserve encompass three major lava fields and about 400 square miles (1,000 km²) of sagebrush steppe grasslands to cover a total area of 1,117 square miles (2,893 km²). The Monument alone covers 343,000 acres (139,000 ha).^[5] All three lava fields lie along the Great Rift of Idaho, with some of the best examples of open rift cracks in the world, including the deepest known on Earth at 800 feet (240 m). There are excellent examples of almost every variety of basaltic lava, as well as tree molds (cavities left by lava-incinerated trees), lava tubes (a type of cave), and many other volcanic features.^[6]

As we were driving up to the Monument area we kept passing what looked like freshly  turned fields of giant black rocks.  It seriously looked like someone had excavated and dug and scattered these big lava rocks everywhere. It was really cool! 

The park itself isnt huge. We were done in a few hours time, BUT will definitely go back to spend more time there. Bring a tent and camp. It is a designated dark sky area!!

These lava fields are from all the volcanos in the area, and eruptions from 15,000 years all the way  up to just 2000 years ago.   Some of the eruptions were so violent it blasted chunks of rocks and blew them everywhere, which call still be seen in Devils Orchard.

We then headed down to the Inferno Cone, which you can climb.  It is a steep quarter mile climb, but at the top is an amazing view and vista of the whole valley. 

You can see Finn about 1/3 of the way up.  what looks like the top, isnt really the top.

You can see the surrounding shield volcanos in the background.

Everywhere you look you can see all types of lava and cinder fields.  There is everything from the large chunks, to the long ropey tube type lava flow, to the slow oozy puddle looking lava. It is amazingly beautiful in an eerie and kind of grotesque way. I can describe it.  I guess the sheer power of the volcanos that had created this and the dark and twisted landscape is just striking.

They also have lava tubes/caves that you can explore by permit only.  They were closed the day we went.

Pets are welcome to stay in the parking lots or in the car, they are not welcome on trails.

20$ per car entrance fee.

Idaho is rad.

ROAD TRIP!! Sawtooth National Forest (Idaho)

 This past weekend I woke up and decided "I have GOT to get out of this house and into the wilds!!".  I just had an itch to go somewhere.  I didnt care where. ANYWHERE.  

We decided on a nice, scenic route that would make a great day trip from Boise.

 We headed out and took the scenic back drive and head over towards the Sawtooth National Recreation and National Forest.  It was an incredibly beautiful, peaceful drive.  

We headed up rte 55 and then followed rte 17 along the Payette river, through the Boise national forest. 

When we hit Lowman, we took hwy 21 and headed towards Sawtooth.    We then joined up with rte 75 and circled around through Sun Valley and Hailey.  We stopped off  outside of Hailey at a trailhead and hiked for a little bit, cooling off in the creek at the end. It was a breathtaking day!

Seriously...how gorgeous is this view??

If you just want a beautiful peaceful drive, this is a great route!  It was the weekend,so the campgrunds and cabins were all full, but I think with a little preparation this would make an excellent weekend trip to camp, hike, raft...whatever.

Idaho is rad.