Armageddon??

Fear and pandemonium have descended the Queen City.

It is as if Armageddon has commenced right here in Charlotte.

Schools are closed, business have shut down.

Highays and By Ways are consumed with accidents. Crumpled vehicles littering the pavement every few feet.

News Anchors are warning people "Dont go out if you dont have to!! It's madness out there!! Madness, I tell you!!!"

Bread, Milk, Water and Batteries are gone from the grocery shelves.

It is complete and utter chaos. I expect Obamas first order of business will be to declare Marshall Law around here.

I have first hand Pictures of this horrendous act of Mother Nature that has caused such destruction and mass hysteria.

Looking at these greusome photos, you can see why the city has descended into such depravity and mayhem.

WE...HAVE...BEEN ...STRUCK...BY....SNOW!!!!(Snow?? Really?? Do they even get that around here?)

Kids have abandoned their bikes and outdoor toys and playgrounds for the safety of the indoors.


Dogs are becoming wild animals, forced to roam the streets looking for food in this tumult! Look at this fearsome Creature known as "The Jake". He is practically rabid!

Trees are snapping under the weight of such an obscene amount of snow.

run! Hide! Protect yourself!! The WHOLE 1/2 INCH OF SNOW WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!!!!

This is one of my favorite E-mails. I wish I could say it isn't true, but the fact of the matter is I use 1,2,3,5,6 and 9 on a daily basis. At first I was indignant, but the further down I read, the more I knew I was guilty.


1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (see #1)

4. GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

6. THATS OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. WHATEVER Is a women's way of saying SHUT UP!

9. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong"(see #3 for the answer)


Men, you totally understand this e-mail.
women, you will act all huffy and mad, then laugh because you will realize you, too, are a "words women use" sinner.