Thursday, June 18, 2009

what happened??

Last year when I discovered blogging, I felt as though I had found a great passion. I blogged every morning. I couldnt wait to get out of bed, turn on my computer and listen to the soft hummmmmm of the whirring internet. I posted. I uploaded. I scoured for funny things. I made lists ahead of time what I would blog about. I specialty photoshopped pictures into collages. I took detailed pictures and accounts of recipes and cooking and gardening.
I ENJOYED it. I looked forward to my inbox filling with nice comments from people i had never met. People as though I felt I KNEW, because I read their blogs too.
It really is amazing how alike we all really are. I blogged because it was a great stress relief, and it gave me satisfaction , knowing I was not alone and many people were going through the same thing. I had a peak of about 200 readers per day.

But then slowly, little by little, piece by piece, my hard work started to fall off. I would skip a day and think to myself "ohhh, I need to blog about (Insert subject here)" and then never get around to it. I found myself getting lazy with taking and uploading pictures. I would have 200 pictures on a camera card and not want to upload them and photoshop with them, therefore not uploading them to blogger. I found myself jealous of fellow bloggers and the numbers of readers they had, and the number of comments they garnered over certain subjects. I found my readership dwindling. I had no motivation to blog anymore.

I started school, which left me a full time cosmetology student AND a full time wife and mom. I found myself increasingly tired and grouchy. I found excuses for less and less time to devote to my blogging. I also crossed the line in my blogging that I swore I would never cross...politics and religion. I said things that I felt needed to be said, so people knew where I stood. I lost readers.
Some people didnt like the fact that I am not Obamas biggest fan. They didnt like the fact that I said Sean Penn was a self righteous douche for proclaiming that all those who didnt support Gay marriage would make their children ashamed of them. Again, I lost more readers. But I plodded on, half heartedly blogging, not really "feeling it". You know?

THEN the unthinkable happened. My computer CRASHED. Completely died. with EVERYTHING ON IT!! All my business cards, labels, pictures, scans, photoshop and illustrator programs. EVERYTHING. I lost about 3 years worth of pictures. I lost all my music(all 20 gb of songs, soundtracks etc). I lost all my labels for balmshoppe. Lip balms, scrubs, soaps etc.

I was memory lane destitute.

The only things I have is what I uploaded to blogger and what we had saved over to disks when we got a new computer 3 years ago.

So I have decided to come back my friends. Back with a vengeance. No more laziness. No more religion and politics. Just good old blogging the way it used to be. Sometimes funny stories. Sometimes pictures of vacations or gardens or recipes. I want to ENJOY it again. I want to look forward to it. I want to post pictures so the next time I have a crash I will have a digital copy SOMEWHERE. I want my readers back, clicking on my ads and making lots of comments.

LOTS OF COMMENTS.(It is kind of a sickness. I feel as if my self worth depends on the number of comments i get on each posting)

I am going to get into give aways and contests. I want to make blogging as much fun for me as it is for you, dear reader.

So thank you to all my loyal readers, please know I appreciate every one of you.
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