Tuesday, October 29, 2013

That was hard!

So for the past few months I have been working really hard on my own at losing weight. I have lost close to 40 pounds now.  It has been amazing.
However I noticed I was starting to plateau and really starting to stall and lose motivation. I was getting hungry all the time and starting sliding back into not eating the right things.

So I took the next step and went to an actual Dr supervised weight loss clinic. They focus on diet, nutrition, and exercise.
So although my initial attempt was a great jump start point, I needed to switch things up a little bit.
I needed to ramp up  my protein, cut down on my "white"carbs like rice, bread, and sugar and focus more on vegetables and lean proteins. I need to drink more water and take my vitamins. I need to have a small snack every few hours to keep  my metabolism going.
I get appetite suppressants if I want them, and it includes one weekly injection of either MIC or B12. I opted on the MIC shots.
So I came home armed with knowledge and (because I am paying for it) motivation.
I also came home with an injection to give myself. It is MIC, which is a bunch of amino acids that help break down the fat and improve liver function.  (I had her give one to me at the clinic to show me how it is done, and said I would do the other at home myself.)

The more I thought about this plan the more I realized how insane it was.
I ...HAVE... TO ...GIVE ...IT ...TO ...MYSELF!!!  
Yep.  I have to FORCE myself to hurt me.
I asked my mom to do it and she said she would, but she has been so busy and I needed to get it done today. Charles said No. he didnt want to hurt me.
So this morning I took out the injection. I looked at it. I alcohol prepped the spot on my stomach. I took a deep breath and.....just stood there.
I had to SERIOUSLY psych myself up for like 5 minutes before I was able to do it.
OK...1...2...3 and  oh wait I cant do this.
Ok 1...2...3  and ahhhh I cant!
Charles came over and said "Give it to me"...then proceeded to kind of fumble around like he didnt really know what he was doing or how he was going to do it.  so I took it back.
1...2...3...oh crap I cant. I cant . I cant.
1...2...3...Im shaking i cant do it.
Charles says "Quit thinking about it. Youre just psyching yourself out.  Just do it."
So finally I closed my eyes, took a deep breath,  and just took the plunge.
for real. It was so easy. It didnt really even hurt.
But the fact I had to give myself an injection...wowie. It was rough.
But I did it.
Now I can resume on with my life.

So I take 1/2 a suppressant daily, which helps a little, but it really forces me to be smart in my food choices, because I still get hungry  towards the afternoon.  So over the next few months I will be building those healthy eating habits and establishing a routine that will keep me looking good.
I feel like I am making better choices. I feel like I can really get a grip on this whole thing and do what I am supposed to do.
so glad I made this choice and have finally taken my health and life back again.

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