oompah loompah doompah dee do...

So yesterday I went to Cosmoprof(professional beauty supply store) to get something to tame my wild curls. Whilst there I decided that I was tired of being pasty white and needed a little color on my skin to give me a healthy glow.  There on the shelf was a can of professional spray tan. I even bought some exfoliant to prescrub and get my skin even and polished, as per directions on the can.

So last night I showered and exfoliated, got all smooth and silky then went to town on the spray tan.
The directions said to spray in nice even strokes, arcing the can to keep from creating dark uneven spots.
It also said on the can you would see instant results and that it dries in under 5 minutes.
So I sprayed and didnt see a whole heck of a lot of difference.  So I sprayed some more.  And to be on the safe side, just a tad more.  It seemed I had a nice healthy glow.

So I went into the bedroom and dried off for about 10 minutes or so, and went to bed.

This morning I woke up and I am WAAAAAYYYY darker than what I need to be. My arms are a little dark, but  it is my legs that are very oompah loompah-ish.  The back of my left leg was a little hard to get evenly, and so it is kind of wonky. And the wrinkles of skin from flexing my foot created white creases along the back part of the ankle.
At one point i think I used my hands to kind of rub it in the top part of my thighs.
I THOUGHT I washed my hands thoroughly...
The palms of my hands are a little "tan" we will call them.  Oh and the sink, walls and floor of my bathroom now have a nice healthy glow about them as well.
MORAL OF THE STORY KIDS: If you are going to get a spray tan, just go to the Tanning Beds and pay the money for one. They know what they are doing, get it nice and even and keep it from getting streaky, patchy, wonky and all other forms of screwed up. That way y9ou wont have to wat 5-7 days for it to start to fade, like me.
This has been a public service announcement.

And in honor of this momentous occasion I have penned a new lyric to Oompah Loompah (sung to the tune of Oompah loompah doompah dee do from Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory)

oompah loompah doompah dee doo, I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompah Loompah doompah dee dee, If you are wise you'll listen to me.
Spray tannings fine it its done by a pro
It makes you look good and can give you a glow
BUT you should go to the Spray Tanning Stores
Or you will end up like Bride Wars!
just like Anne from Bride Wars...