Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I am NOT June Cleaver

How June Cleaver did it is beyond me. (well I know she is a TV Character and I know she is not real, so please do not think I am crazy)
But I know women who are reall like June Cleaver. They always look nice. They always wear makeup and jewelry. Their hair is usually coiffed, nails manicured, toenails pedicured. They have a nice house, nice kids, cook Breakfast every morning, dinner every night and in between clean, sew, knit, socialize, run charity events and workout.

I on the stark contrast, roll out of bed, throw on something that isnt TOO wrinkled or looks like it came from a Hobo's dirty bandana- and-stick suitcase.
I shower at night, go to bed with wet hair and wake up with white girl afro. I usually have a ponytail to disguise said afro, and never wear makeup.

Breakfast usually consists of anyone of the three:
1. poptarts.
2. cold cereal, usually ending in charms, pebbles, pops, smacks or crisp
3. pancakes at Bob Evans

Lunch consists of sandwiches, nachos or some sort of boxed pasta. Pretty original I know.
Peters lunch is whipped together from a frozen uncrustables PB&J sandwich, a juicebox, and pre bagged snacks from the store. I dont wash, cut, chop or process anything. I am a lazy mom.

Dinner I can whip together if I manage to remember to take something out of the freezer. I am not one to make tuna casserole or grilled cheese if I forget to thaw the meat. But I wont lie, we have eaten our fair share of fish sticks, tater tots, sandwiches and cold cereal for dinner.

I try and keep the house clean, but I feel it is a losing proposition. I get it clean and shiny and sparkly and organized and 37.8 seconds later it is a pit of doom and despair, thanks to my two hurricanes(Finn and Peter), a dog and a husband who doesnt know what a clothes hamper is.

This morning I walked downstairs and noted 4 socks, 2 shirts, an undershirt, 2 pairs of jeans and 4 pairs on underwear in the hall...INCHES from the clothes hamper.
In the kitchen I saw mail just piled up from weeks of neglect and abuse. The table was covered in my work and projects that I hadnt had a chance to clean up yet. The sink was full of last nights dishes and food processor, and the bottom level of the houe was a den of transformers and kids toys and dog hair.

I cleaned on Saturday. I straightened on monday. I go out of town monday night and got home last night. I kind of ignored the house when I got home, as I was tired from driving and just so glad to be home again. I got up this morning and just shook my head in disbelief.

I am up to my armpits in housework today.

I cant tell you the last time I had a manicure. I would probably just bite the nails off anyways...
I CAN tell you the last time I had a pedicure...September 2005.

I am in a sad, pathetic state right now my friends.
I wish I could say that I had some pressing business and active social life..I dont. I really have no excuse. Itis pure laziness sometimes.
If being a mom and homemaker were a job in the world with managers and supervisors etc, I would totally be fired. Somedays I just want to ist and read a book, or watch a movie or go shopping. I have no desire to cook, clean, nurture, make beds etc.
Is that terrible??

Oh well, time to wrestle with a vacuum and put away laundry(the bane of my existence)
faretheewell my friends. I shall post more tomorrow...from a clean and sparkly house.
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