i have had people ask me on a daily basis if the things I write REALLY happened to me, or if I was making it up. Yes, it is for real, it really happened and I dont make anything up. I may embellish a tad for literary license, but honestly I am the unluckiest person I know. i am like Bella from Twilight(Stephenie Meyer) that Accidents and bad luck are attracted to me like a magnet. But on the flip side, I tend to be the one that all the funny things happen to.
My Friend Lindsey and i used to write funny short stories, usually based on our lives(but of course the heroines were usually beautiful and smart and witty...kind of the antithesis of what we thought we were)
If they were about us I was always the one falling off a boat, snorting water through my nose, landing face first in a mud puddle, dating the guy who years later admits to being gay. I was always the one with the 14 last names from being unlucky in love and marriage.(although in these stories I had a great rack and long flowing locks of curling auburn hair). Generally i was Wealthy(due to divorce settlements, alimony and a lawsuit or two involving faulty products gone haywire). But all in all I was miserable and handt found "the meaning of love" blah blah blah. You know how 16 year olds can be so melodramatic.
She was always the one living in the mountains with a husband named "Jack" or "Luke" or something manly. she was usually successful(either an author to rival the likes of Danielle Steele, a musician/singer/songwriter with more #1's and grammys under her belt than mariah carey and Whitney Houston Combined. She was usually a green eyed beauty straight out of a Judith MacNaught Novel. Generally the ending was thus: she would pick me up, dust me off, give me advice and I would be on my way.(in love with her personal trainer or pilot or something like that. ) Finally finding TRUE love and FINALLY knowing the meaning of life. Lindsey and her husband would be staring off into the sunset and her husband would ask something like "Is she going to be alright?" and lindsey would usually answer with 'You know what? I think she will. i think she Finally found what she was looking for"
But in a way our stories WERE a little bit like us. I fell in and out of love so easily as a teenager(those hormones! those cute boys!). She was always the more level headed one with sage wisdom, the adventurous and outdoorsy one, whereas I was the more passionate, "jump-in-both-feet-first-without-looking" wild child.
But all in all the stories I write are true. I really do have a crazy life and have had a lot of crazy things happen to me. i have an inordinate amount of bad luck and uncanny ability to have things go wrong at the worst possible moment.
My friend Dana always told me "It could only happen to you. Only you, Sarah."
She is right.
Maybe I will get lucky and have some publisher stumble across my blog and offer me a book deal. The name of my book will be "The night I made charles wear Tampons in his ears at a Journey Concert"(I'll tell that one down the road. True Story)
Charles said i should title the book " Sarah is one lucky girl because Charles is so good looking."
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9 comments:
Start writing your memoirs girl.
If Charles had all that ummm...cotton in his ears at a Journey concert, how could he hear Open Arms? Actually, why would he want to miss anything Steve Perry sang? Ok...you must write about this next, because I'm a huge Journey fan, and I MUST know this story!
lol. I'm not sure I want to hear that one.
Mine would be entitled Chaos. If it can go wrong, it does in my life.
I'd read your book for sure!
Charles sounds like my Hubby!
:)
I would for sure read your book! Hey, at least you can say you are never bored, right? And I bet you get lots of invites to dinner parties with such stories. :) Can't wait to hear more of your shenanigans!!
Haha...hon, you and are are from the same tree in the luck department, but yours and Lind's stories always crack me up!!! You need to write your memoirs...instant Best Seller! I will come to you personally for an autographed copy...on the skybus! You got me psyched to try it out!
You will not be unlucky anymore..Get that piece of paper and put the biggest "8" on it..Then everyone will be wanting to hang on to your shirt
tail..Look out, here comes that lucky
one.
Our stories were retarded, but they are great fun to read now. And, yes, come to think of it, you WERE always the one with the snootful of water. Haha. Good times.
I wouldn't be surprised if a publisher came along as all your stories are great, a wonderful mix of everyday life and very very funny!
: )
You should submit samples of your short stories to publishers/literary journals, with your blog addy so they can find the rest. Seriously! Submit your work! Someone will certainly snap it up. & then they may turn it into a movie also. Featuring a soundtrack by Journey :)
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