Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Just the facts ma'am

I cant tell you how many emails and forwards I get a day from friends and family.
Some of them are funny, some are sweet and poignant.
Others are "forward this on and make a difference" or "Write to your Congressman to get this changed" or "Boycott Pepsi". These are known as E-rumors.
Now although I appreciate you forwarding some of these on to me, I have something to say...


My cousin is the WORST offender. Every day i get 6 to 8 emails from her. AT LEAST 1/3 of her messages are those pesky e-rumors.

SO to break it down, here are some of the Hottest E-rumours going around, past and present:

1. Bill gates is not going to send you money or to Disney World for forwarding emails to "track" them for his new Beta Program. I dont care if the message said "my attorney friend looked at this and said they have to do it." or "I personally saw the check". IT ISNT GOING TO HAPPEN.

2. If you get an Amber Alert, before jumping in and passing them along, check out the veracity through Snopes or through center for Missing or exploited Children. Many of them are hoaxes.
BUT some are real.

3. The Cancer Society or Heart Association is not going to pay money for every email or card or forward some sick child is going to receive. They will not donate 3 cents per each forward towards cancer research, and AOL is not going to pay 32 cents for every 3 people that open or forward a message.

4. In God We Trust is NOT being taken off of the coins. Nor did a WWII memorial leave off So Help US God from the monument.

5. Don't Boycott Pepsi because they left off "under God" on their patriotic cans . Boycott Pepsi because their soda tastes like a$$.

6. (and my fave) THE CLINTON BODY COUNT... Every person that has opposed the Clintons has wound up dead, either through suspicious circumstances or "suicide". hmmm.
Political E-rumours are the hottest thing right now, especially with the upcoming election. I personally like the newest Obama endorsement from those morons in the KKK.

7. Andy Rooney, George Carlin, Jay Leno and Paul Harvey did not write essays or remarks about immigration, political correctness, Church vs state etc. On the Flip Side, Ben Stein, Bill Cosby and Charlie Daniels have. And on a personal note, the Dixie Chicks STILL suck.(verified through snopes)

8. Plastic Water bottles...dont get me started.

9. Starbucks refusing to send coffee to the troops because they didnt support the war...Do you know how many people boycotted Starbucks over this rumour? It all started when One worker at a starbucks in New York charged Ground zero workers $130 for 3 cases of water(true). People started jumping on the "we hate starbucks" bandwagon and next thing you know they are killing babies, and eating puppies for lunch and being called every other deplorable name in the book.

10. The Planet Mars is not going to pass so close to earth that it would be the size of the moon...

11. Your local gang will not have an initiation to kill someone who flashes their lights, gets bumped in an intersection or is wearing the color red

12. The Last Photo from a camera found at the World Trade center, Photos of The space shuttle blowing up upon re-entry and waves frozen into place are usually photoshopped, or taken from another source(Kind of Like Al Gores Inconvenient truth)

Now some E-rumours are Partly True, like This one about redeeming your gift cards from stores entering Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Partly true e-rumours tend to be more believeable, because SOME PARTS are true, automatically making this recipient think the rest is true.
Gas Boycotts, Cheating Gas Pumps, Barak Obama and #77 on your cell phone to avoid rapists have multiple status, meaing parts are true, but the rest are false or undetermined. The one about the tax payers costs of illegal Immigrants is a very popular one circulating right now(this one has sources backing it up making it seem very believeable) oh and Denzel Washington and the medical center is a pretty popular multiple status rumour too.

Other E-rumours ARE true : flip flops from Wal-Mart, Hand Sanitizers making kids drunk, and Strawberry Quick Meth and certain destructive computer viruses.

So next time you get that e-mail that appeals to your patriotic side, the one that tells you "boycott because of such and such" or "So and So wrote this about americans" PLEASE for the LOVE of all that is good and holy, CHECK THEM OUT before hitting that Forward button.


Thank you for your time.
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