Monday, February 25, 2008

Eat me! Eeeeat mmmeeeeee!

This morning I had a Come To Jesus Moment.
A true, heart stopping "oh Lord, help me Jesus" moment.
The past two years or so I have kind of fluctuated with my weight. I would lose, then gain, lose then gain. I finally decided to not even pay attention, to go about my daily life and make small healthy changes along the way.
In Theory thats a great idea. In practice it only works if you put effort into it(which I did not). I did not even realize how TERRIBLE it was.
I stepped on the scale. (CRINGE). I have not stepped on a scale in quite awhile. I did notice that my pants were getting tight(and not fresh from the dryer tight).I wont tell you what it read, a lady never divulges her age or her weight. (but I will tell you this. I felt like Nell Carter in the opening credits of Gimme a Break, where she steps on the scale and picks up the scale as if to strangle it.)
I thought, "There must be some mistake!" Yes, a mistake. The Scale is acting wonky, it needs a new battery. I tried weighing myself on hardwood, on tile, on carpet(I was contemplating taking it outside but figured my neighbors didnt need a peep show my my backside. Then, I tried to convince myself it was my 22 pound pair of underwear. Alas, shedding the underwear only helped me lose a tenth of a pound. I took off my wedding band and ring, my camisole, and my socks. woo hoo , down another two tenths!! So, I tried going to the bathroom to help shed some water weight. All in all I managed to lose almost 1/2 a pound in accoutrements and water.

(Obviously) I have decided to go back on a diet. (You better believe in my weight loss journal I am writing my original weight down and counting that 1/2 pound weight loss!!)
THE PLAN:Juicing, plenty of water, going back to the Y for work outs, and eating healthy I can do it. I did it once 6 years ago I can do it again. So I am looking forward to losing the weight and being healthy and buying new clothes.

However, while looking through etsy to find something for Peters school teacher for Teacher Appreciation Week, I found these: Pretzel windows covered in white and milk chocolate, and nuts.(ahhhhhhhh, the heavens are singing praises unto thee!!) However, I am now on a diet and firmly committed, so get thee behind me Satan!! Get thee behind me with your sweet and salty, crunchy goodness that I am sure would just melt in my mouth and leave me feeling warm and smooshy inside! As I sit here with my bottle of water and a healthy, nutritious breakfast these bad boys are calling my name. Eaaaat meeeeeee. Eeeaaaat meeeeeeeee! Buuuuyyyy meeeeeeee and eeeeaaaaat mmeeeeee! GAH! Lord, give me strength.

This is not the first time I have had a run-in with Nuts4candy. Remember these from my previous blog??

(Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallllleeeeellluuuuujah!)
Handle wrote the Hallelujah chorus about these pretzels, I am sure.

But as I said before, i am firmy committed. It is time to lose all my weight for once and for all. No more messing around.
My goal is 60 pounds.
So I will lose 80 so I can buy victory pretzels...

goodbye my sweets, I will see you in a few months! I count down to the days when you will be in my hands and I will sit and eat you in one fell swoop...
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